Obi Wan Kenobi Goes Camping
by Stilwater Rundeepo
Summary: It's been a long year and Obi-Wan needs a hiatus. He decides to go on a camping trip to Acscati Park with Rex as his bodyguard. Anakin and Ahsoka insist they come with. Think that's bad? What happens when they find out that Grievous, Dooku, and Hondo Ohnaka have the very same idea in mind? WARNING: DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

**I am writing this little tale for two reasons. 1) I needed some personal relief from "Space Bound", just so I could breathe a little after endorsing myself in such a dark, frightening place. 2) I thought I would entertain you lovely Clone Wars fans with some sweet summer fun. You guys are amazing, and you deserve it!**

**So kick back, relax, put on some sunscreen, and enjoy some fun in the sun with Ahsoka, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Rex!**

* * *

Obi-Wan was standing over his suitcase, looking over what he had already packed and thinking about what he still needed. He backed away from the edge of the bed and turned around. The top drawer in the dresser clicked as he opened it and took out an extra pair of socks and a pair of sandals he bought last year, just in case he would need them.

He smiled to himself for a fleeting moment. How long had he been looking forward to this trip? At least two months? Far too long. It had felt like a package in the mail, something that would never arrive—and low and behold, here it was.

When had they first decided they would have this camping trip, anyway? He wondered.

It came to him just as he was stuffing in an extra bottle of sunscreen in his suitcase. He remembered, now. Master Yoda had thought up the idea. It had been after a Council session, during which Obi-Wan had had a difficult time keeping his mental focus on the topic at hand, and afterward the old master had approached him.

"Tired, you are, Master Kenobi?" he had asked, in what had been more of a statement.

"Burned-out is a better way to describe it," Obi-Wan had sighed in reply, rubbing his fingers through his hair. It hadn't been altogether a pleasant year for him. He had gone undercover twice, once to defeat some slave owners and a second time to stop the kidnapping of Chancellor Palpatine—neither of those had been enjoyable, not one bit. And then there was dealing with Asajj Ventress, Savage Oppress, and a cuckoo Darth Maul. In summary, he was whooped.

"A break, perhaps, off the battle lines—help you re-cooperate, it will," Yoda had suggested.

"That would be too dangerous. No matter where I went, someone could find me and I would be in great danger."

"Go alone, you would not."

Such a simple remark that started this whole thing.

At first, Obi-Wan's only companion on this little camping trip was going to be Captain Rex. Not as if Rex had had a year full of rainbows, daffodils, and puppy dogs, either. That way, Obi-Wan could have his relaxing time without worrying about if anyone might be spying on, AKA planning to assassinate him.

Then Anakin heard about this "secret" trip, and it went downhill from there.

Obi-Wan sighed as he zipped up the suitcase. All well. Anakin was a good friend to have along, and of course so was Ahsoka. Still. He couldn't help but have the feeling that, now with those two going, his so-called trip would involve more supervision than relaxation.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when the door behind him opened. Obi-Wan spun around, although he knew who would be coming. A snicker unintentionally burst from his lips.

"What—what is it, Master?" Anakin snapped, taken aback by the sudden outburst.

"I'm sorry, Anakin. I just never imagined you owned such clothes."

Anakin blinked and looked down at his yellow, red, and mango-orange Hawaiian T-shirt, khaki shorts, and the brown sandals with black socks.

"It's summer vacation, Obi-Wan. Get your head out of the clouds. I mean, do you want people recognizing you wherever we go?"

"They definitely won't recognize _you_," Obi-Wan chuckled, and he had to turn away lest he started laughing uncontrollably.

"I was going to _ask _you," Anakin said, forcing back a growl of disapproval, "if you're all packed and ready to go. The _Twilight _is outside and we're loading our stuff in."

"Yes. Of course. I just need to find a pair of sunglasses so I won't scorch my eyes."

"Oh, don't worry about that, Master. I'm bringing enough pairs for all of us." To prove himself, Anakin pulled out a pair of sunglasses from his breastpocket. They were a deep purple hue with white rhinestone border, and each lens was about the size of Obi-Wan's fist.

"Um—are those Ahsoka's?" he couldn't help but ask.

"No. These are yours."

"Oh, dear," Obi-Wan muttered to himself as he picked up his suitcase. Getting your eyes scorched wasn't that bad a thing—in fact, sun was good for the eyes, wasn't it? Yes, of course it was. He followed Anakin out of the room, and shut and locked the door behind him. That was it. They were really going.

He could already smell the white-hot sand sizzling under a high noon sun, hear a choir of birds singing in in the overhanging tree tops, and feel the warmth from a crackling, dancing campfire. Ah..._summer_. It was a good time to be alive. Especially on such a trip.

They left the Jedi Temple behind them and stepped out into the early June sunshine streaming in from the Coruscant clouds. At the landing platform ahead was the _Twilight_, next to which sat a heap of luggage. Obi-Wan counted four umbrellas, five lawn chairs, two coolers, a kitchen utensil set, two tents, four sleeping bags and mattresses, five matching hot-pink suitcases in five different sizes, and one small leather bag at the peak of this mountain.

Ahsoka was standing nearby, trying her stuff her two lightsabers into one of the suitcases. She glanced up and saw Anakin and Obi-Wan, and smiled at them.

"All set, Sky-guy?"

"Ahsoka, is all that yours?" asked Obi-Wan, gesturing to the hot-pink luggage.

"Whose did you think it was, R2's?"

"But I don't think you need that much. We're not migrating, you know."

"I gotta have all my stuff with me!" she cried indignantly. She stood up straight and began dragging the lighter items into the _Twilight_.

"Hmm. I see."

From behind the mountain, Captain Rex emerged. Surprisingly, he was still wearing his armor, although he was holding his helmet under one arm.

"So which is yours?" Obi-Wan dared to ask.

"Just that one," said Rex, and he pointed up at the small leather bag at the top.

"That's all you're bringing?" Anakin pressed.

Rex was about to reply when he noticed Anakin's attire. He couldn't help but stare for a moment, and turned away rather quickly to watch Ahsoka.

"I was trained to survive on so little," he answered simply.

"Well, I should say that's a good thing, then," remarked Obi-Wan. "I was beginning to fear we wouldn't be able to get the _Twilight _off the ground at this rate."

The three men then grabbed their own luggage and helped Ahsoka finish loading up the ship. About twenty minutes later, they were ready to leave. They all sat down resolutely in the cockpit, a feeling of excitement and anticipation washing over the group. At last, the moment had come. They were really going! This was going to be the best summer they ever had! No battle lines, no bounty hunters, and no battle droids!

They were all thinking the same thing—this was too good to be true! Just too good!

The moment lagged a bit when Anakin, as he lifted the ship off the platform, slapped on a pair of bright-orange aviator sunglasses and did a thumbs-up signal.

"To the camping site we go," he cheered.

Obi-Wan couldn't help but cheer as well. He was too happy to feel self-conscious.

"First thing when we get there, I'm making lemonade!" Ahsoka cried.

"_No_, you're going to help _me _put up the _tent_," Anakin politely corrected.

"What's lemonade?" asked Captain Rex.

A thought that should have occurred to Obi-Wan, but never did, passed out of his subconscious entirely as the _Twilight _jumped into hyperspace.

It _was _too good to be true.

* * *

**Other Author's Note:**

**'Acscati' is 'Itasca' spelled backwards. Itasca State Park hosts Itasca Lake, which is the start of the Mississippi River. Amazing place I had to name at least one location after.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

**Just as a heads-up, I am aware that a couple characters might seem a little OOC - but it's just my exaggerations and for laughs. And this definitely ISN'T one of my more serious stories like "Space Bound" where I take every effort to stay true to the canon characters. This was written for fun and only for fun and so I could have a little personal comedy relief.**

**OK, that's all cleared up. On to chapter two! Don't be afraid to leave a review, please.**

* * *

After establishing that Obi-Wan was in dire need of a break, he had spent what little spare time he had in the library researching possible locations for a trip. When one took the time to realize it, there were actually many parts of the galaxy designated solely for vacation. It made sense, of course, because everyone needed it from time to time.

For example, Tattooine was dotted with several tourist towns with the intention of allowing visitors to bake themselves to a crisp while sipping on fresh Jawa Juice. Naboo rented out small huts located next to glistening waterfalls and gigantic green pastures.

But in the last desperate stretch of his HoloNet digging, he finally found a vacation spot that sounded absolutely perfect and befitting, an ideal place for a war-weary Clone Captain and Jedi Knight to re-cooperate. On the forest moon of Endor, there was a small but highly-recommended camping ground called Acsati Endor Park.

Acsati Park! Obi-Wan had begun to drool as he read on about this spot. It was in the middle of the woods and gave one an up-close view of the woodland creatures. However, it was near a beautiful lake also called Acsati, in which were all sorts of fish to catch. This is without mentioning the trails to hike on, a beautiful beach, tourist stops galore, and a No-Droids regulation that would definitely keep any battle droids out of the way. Needless to say, Obi-Wan informed Yoda, who agreed his vacation could last ten days exactly, and he immediately booked a spot in the popular Ewok Paw campground. It was known for having an extra-large bathhouse and a charming view of Acsati Lake not even 100 feet off. In a word, irresistible.

This was all, of course, before Anakin and Ahsoka insisted they come with.

Obi-Wan was reviewing those past two months in his head as he glanced over a map of Acsati Park, which showed all the hiking trails and boating routes. He was building up a beautiful strategy, which might work. Anakin and Ahsoka were probably looking forward to the more rigorous, adventurous activities during this trip. Why not "suggest" they go hiking or fishing or canoeing? Then, while they were off having a good time, Obi-Wan could have his catnaps and sunbathing all to himself with Rex keeping the darn assassins away. Peace and quiet, just what Master Yoda ordered. No distractions. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, what could possibly go wrong?

"Gosh, I hope we didn't forget anything," Anakin muttered. Up ahead of the _Twilight_, the moon of Endor was at last coming into view. They were almost there. They were almost there!

"I'm not worried at all," Obi-Wan replied, staring up at the ceiling with his feet propped up on the dashboard. "I know _I _remembered everything I wanted to bring with."

_ Hmm,_ he thought. Did _I forget anything?_

He had begun listing off the essential items in his head—_bath towel, toothpaste, bug spray, comlinks—_when Anakin drove the _Twilight _into the Endor atmosphere. Below them was a carpet of trees. Ahsoka pointed and smiled. Obi-Wan folded up the map and stuck it in his breastpocket, itching to jump off the ship the second they landed.

At long last, Anakin landed the _Twilight _in front of the registration office. Obi-Wan walked inside and showed them his papers and his campsite number. The clerk, a Rodian, perked up when she finally noticed that the man in front of her was a Jedi.

"Y'all stayin' at Ewok Paw Site 63?" she drawled.

"Why, yes, ma'am, that's the site I booked for the four of us," said Obi-Wan.

"Okie-dokie. Any complaints, file 'em to our HoloNet site." She pointed behind him, outside, to a small shack with strong iron doors. "Iffin' anyone dies, jus' bring the dead bodies over there an' we cremate 'em, jus' so's ya know."

Obi-Wan felt a little perplexed at the remark, but thought nothing of it as he returned to the _Twilight _and they took off for the Ewok Paw campground. Ahsoka, by then, was beside herself.

"I'm so excited I think I'm going to burst!" she cried as Anakin guided the _Twilight _over the treetops towards the campground. "This is going to be the most fun I've ever had in my whole life!"

"Now don't you go thinking this is a good excuse to slack off on your training," Anakin couldn't help but interject.

"Oh, c'mon, Sky-guy. It's only ten days. What could happen in ten days?" Ahsoka crossed her arms and looked out the window again; she couldn't get enough of looking out to this beautiful scenery. "Besides, I've never even been camping before, so you'll be too busy showing me what to do and all instead."

"What? What do you mean?" Anakin scoffed.

"Aren't you going to show me how to make a campfire, get the canoe in the water, put a lifejacket on?" Ahsoka pressed.

Obi-Wan and Rex watched, silent, as Anakin snorted and said,

"Um, _I've _never been camping either. I was counting on either you or Obi-Wan showing me. I guess my master's all by himself now, huh?"

Obi-Wan scratched his beard and shook his head, blinking slowly.

"No, as a matter of fact, I have not set a foot in a campsite my whole life. Rex is the one who has been trained in all sorts of environments, so he will be the one to show us."

Anakin screeched the _Twilight _to a halt just as they were hovering over their campsite in Ewok Paw. Behind them, Acscati Lake was visible pure and blue, a glistening white under the late morning sunshine. To Obi-Wan, however, the sun was starting to shine a lot less in that cockpit.

"But, Obi-Wan, you planned this whole thing out! Don't tell me that..."

Ahsoka stopped, as three heads slowly turned toward Captain Rex. Rex bristled, straightened, and shifted his helmet to the other arm.

"I was _assigned_ to this little trip," he quickly pointed out. "I didn't have any choice. I thought I was to do all the protecting, and _you _three would show me how to go camping. No offense, sir, but you guys can always—"

"You mean that _no one_ here knows _anything_ about camping?"

"Calm down, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. But inside, he was thinking,

_Oh, dammit. Here Rex counted on us, I counted on Rex, Anakin counted on me, and Ahsoka counted on Anakin! Well, this is what I get for being a big-mouth and telling Anakin about my little trip to Acscati Park._

Anakin was a little more than upset at that point. As he sat in the pilot's seat yelling, Rex opened the hatch and began unloading the luggage. Ahsoka, thinking quickly, decided she would join him and leave Obi-Wan to handle Anakin all on his own.

"So now we're all in the middle of _nowhere_ and we have no idea how to survive? If we don't know how to put up a tent, we're going to freeze overnight, either that or get rained on so we can go and catch pneumonia! If we can't make a fire, we can't cook our food and we'll starve to death out here! We're all going to die and it's all your fault, because it was _your _idea in the—"

"Anakin, just take a deep breath!" cried Obi-Wan. He was tempted to give The Chosen One a whack upside the head. Instead, he grabbed his suitcase and dragged it outside. Site 63, it was—on the edge of the campground next to the forest. To its left was Site 62, which was currently unoccupied. In front of it was a pathway that led one way into the woods and the other through the grounds all the way to the bathhouse in the center. Up ahead was the line of pine trees, and behind that, the lake.

"Listen," said Obi-Wan, turning to a red-faced Anakin, "first of all, we are _not _in the middle of nowhere. There are plenty of campers within walking distance and I'm sure they're nothing short of friendly and welcoming. And just because none of us have ever camped before doesn't mean we don't know how. Why, we've all been in some form of wilderness and had to survive."

"Yeah, and plus," said Ahsoka, "_This _time we came prepared." She gestured to the mountain of luggage in the center of their site, right next to the fire pit.

"But still," Anakin pressed, crossing his arms, "we've never put up a tent before, or made a fire, or gone fishing, or—"

"These things aren't impossible, Anakin. We'll teach ourselves in no time," Obi-Wan chuckled.

Anakin was still growling under his breath as he dug his arms into the mountain to find the bag containing the tent poles. Rex, for the time being, had one knee on the ground and was brushing his hand over the soil to find any animal tracks. He looked up and half-smiled at the lake. Even though this trip didn't look to be all that promising, the lake might prove to be redemptive. Few people know how much clones love a good morning swim.

"Almost wished I _didn't _come along on this stupid vacation," Obi-Wan heard Anakin mutter.

_Oh, you are not alone, _Obi-Wan mentally sighed.

And then, suddenly, Obi-Wan wanted to slap himself. He snatched up both tent bags and tossed them onto a flat spot on the ground. One of them was large and dark green, for he and Anakin and Rex, and the other was half as large and hot-pink, and matched Ahsoka's luggage.

_What on earth am I thinking? We haven't even set up camp and I'm already letting myself ruin this trip. Come now, Obi-Wan, you can do better than that. Relax. Enjoy yourself._

_ And besides, _he told himself as he began spreading out the canvas, _No more bad things can happen on only the first day. I bet we'll be forgetting all of this by nightfall._

It was a very encouraging thought and it seemed to fill his lungs with the fresh woodland air and put a lighthearted spring in his step. He snatched up the instructions on how to put up the tents with a rekindled spirit. Even when Step 1 ended with Anakin tangled up in the dark green canvas and a hammer falling on Obi-Wan's big toe, he still felt the sunshine coming back to him. Nothing could stop it now—almost nothing at all. It came to him. This was his chance to meditate and recover from his recent burnout. This was the time to not be bothered by anything whatsoever. Let Anakin and Ahsoka do their thing, let Rex do this, and let himself put his mind to ease.

Yes, it was most encouraging for a long while, until about noon, also known as lunchtime.

When the tents were done, Ahsoka immediately shoved all her luggage inside her tent and brought out the sleeping bags. She did not take long to figure out how to unroll her mattress, and before long her pillow and sleeping bag were ready. Anakin and Obi-Wan had a little more difficulty, and constantly bumped into each other as they tried to unroll their mattresses. Obi-Wan couldn't figure out how Anakin always seemed to plant his foot right on top of Obi-Wan's clean white pillow, as if the two were magnetized to each other. But, at any rate, they finally finished by late morning and stepped outside to find that Rex had made a small fire.

"Oh, you shouldn't have," Ahsoka squealed when she saw the fire. She ran over, unfolded a lawn chair, and planted herself down in front of the fire pit.

"I shouldn't have?" Rex asked worriedly, staring up at her.

"Oh, no. I mean, it was real nice of you."

"Well, thank you."

"I don't know about _you_, but I'm starved." Anakin arched his back and stretched his arms out.

"Yes, it is about time for lunch," Obi-Wan added. "What sounds good to everyone?"

"Hot dogs!"

"Chili with rice!"

"I don't mind, really," said Rex. "A steak sounds kind of nice."

"Um, we don't have steaks on a camping trip," said Obi-Wan. He learned that from looking at the pictures on Ascsati Park's HoloNet link. None of them had been eating steak.

"Oh," Rex said, looking away feeling embarrassed. "Well, maybe..."

Before they could decide on lunch, however, a loud noise interrupted them. It was coming from above the campground, higher up than the treetops. At once, they all knew it was a large ship.

Obi-Wan would have liked to later tell Yoda he had never heard that sort of engine before, and these new arrivals were total strangers and potentially new acquaintances he could say he met on this short but wonderful trip to Acscati.

Yoda wouldn't hear any of it.

As the ship landed right down next to Site 62, Obi-Wan's stomach made a strange movement inside him. It was equivalent to that of a basketball player doing a 360, flipping upside down in the air, and getting the bottoms of his shoes stuck to the ceiling.

Two voices erupted from the inside of the newly-arrived ship.

"I should be out there killing, not sitting in this waste of a wilderness!"

"I told you, a period of peace and quiet is essential if your new bodily upgrades are to be set permanently. You should be thanking me, you know, not complaining about it. It took me weeks of paperwork to get you past the No-Droids regulation."

"I am _not _a droid!"

Obi-Wan cringed as the two figures exited the ship and their eyes locked on them.

"Oh, blast it all," he muttered.

"What in all the..." Anakin never finished it, for he was interrupted.

"Anakin Skywalker!" yelled General Grievous. "And Obi-Wan Kenobi! What a pleasant surprise! You must be either very brave or very foolish to show yourself here!"

"What are you talking about?" Anakin demanded. "_We _were here_ first_!"

"Oh, were you? Just when did you book your campsite, Jedi scum?" Grievous shrieked.

"Two months, nine days ago," said Obi-Wan.

"HAH!" Grievous rolled back his head and laughed until the chickadees flew out of the pine trees in sheer terror. "_I _booked this campsite two months, _twelve _days ago! You lose, Kenobi!"

"Don't worry, Master Kenobi, I'll protect you," Rex said from behind him.

"We came here for reasons other than the war," Dooku growled. "I am sure the case is the same in your favor. If you so much as put one foot in our site, I'm afraid I will have to accept it as a challenge against those reasons."

"Yeah, and same here!" Ahsoka shouted.

_Let's think, _thought Obi-Wan. _Is there any possible way to have rest and relaxation when General Grievous and Count Dooku are less than thirty feet away?_

_ No, I suppose not._

It was going to be a long ten days.


	3. Chapter 3

**It gets worse. It gets crazier. It gets messier.**

**Bring on the summer madness!  
**

* * *

"Obi-Wan?"

_Just relax, just relax. They'll have no reason to bother us as long as we stay in our campsite and they stay in theirs. We're here on peace terms, anyway. If I can manage to—_

"Obi-Wan?"

_Wait a minute. How can we all possibly stay in the campsite for _ten days_? Anakin and Ahsoka will drive me crazy, and I'll _never _get my rest if they can't leave! And—oh, my god—what about trips to the bathhouse? Does that mean that—_

Obi-Wan turned away from his little pocket mirror and began to look around for a row of bushes or a large tree, when he heard someone call his name.

"_Obi-Wan_!"

"I'm right here, Anakin! There's no need to shout." Obi-Wan looked back into the mirror and tried to fix his hair with his comb.

"Don't you think it's a bit of an _appropriate _time to be shouting? I think it's pretty obvious we have a situation here! Two Separatist leaders are camped right next to us and one of them's got a lightsaber! And, I mean, the other's got _four _lightsabers!"

"Think of honeybees, Anakin. If we don't bother them, they don't bother us."

Anakin shifted his weight to the other foot and glared ahead at Site 62. His left hand was tingling as it rested just above his lightsaber strapped to his belt. It was a very bad sign.

"Um...I wouldn't imagine Grievous and Dooku as _honeybees_, Obi-Wan."

"Whatever. You get my point." Obi-Wan stuck his mirror and comb back in his toiletry bag, scooped it up, and began walking back to the tent. The fire was still going, and Rex had diligently went a little ways into the woods and brought back an armload of firewood and kindling. Ahsoka was in her tent putting on bugspray. By then, Grievous' constant shouting had scared seemingly every single animal out of that area of Ewok Paw. So much for a choir of birds singing in in the overhanging tree tops.

"No, I don't get your point!" yelled Anakin. "Any second now we could be ambushed by those two. The longer we ignore them, the more time they have to build up a plan to—"

"Now hold on, why would they want to attack us? They have every reason not to!" Obi-Wan spun around on his heel to face Anakin. Unaware of how closely Anakin had been, their chests bumped against each other. Obi-Wan embarrassingly backed away while holding his toiletry bag.

"Oh, _yeah_? Start listing a few. See if you can get to _one_."

Obi-Wan harrumphed.

"First of all, they're here for the same reasons we are—for rest and relaxation. Second—"

"How do _you _know that?" Anakin growled.

Dooku's voice rang from Site 62, loud and clear.

"I would listen to your master if I were you, young Skywalker. It seems to me that the summer heat is already getting to what there is of your little head."

Ahsoka dived out of her tent and accidentally barreled right into Rex, who was bringing back a third armload of firewood. Logs and kindling scattered across the floor of the campsite.

"Let's get them, Master! We'll teach that old fart and his oversized tinny a lesson! Oh sorry 'bout that Rex."

Rex sat on the ground blinking, the wind knocked out of him.

"Oh, yes!" Grievous shouted. "Come to me, little youngling! I was just planning on having cooked Padawan on a hamburger bun tonight! Bwa-ha-hah—keh-kaugh _ku-ghuh_..."

Obi-Wan dropped his toiletry bag and snatched Ahsoka by the back of her cloak just as she raced past him.

"You will not do anything of the sort," he scolded. "It's getting late. We are going to have our supper, and it's going to be very peaceful with no distractions, and your butt is going to remain in this camp, young one!"

Ahsoka flicked his hand away, sneering at Grievous. Grievous was sitting hunched over at Site 62's picnic table, his yellow eyes glaring as they reflected the late sun cast over Acscati Lake. Dooku, meanwhile, had his back to Grievous and sat calmly in front of the empty fire pit. He pulled out a hamburger from a plastic bag, laid it several feet away, and brushed a gentle dose of Force-lightning over the slab of meat. After he turned it over and repeated the process, he had himself a well-done hamburger, which he ate with a mountain of mustard and raw onion.

Anakin helped Rex up from the ground. Obi-Wan was about to head into his tent, when he heard Ahsoka make a funny noise.

"Oh...Obi-Wan," she said in dismay, "look at your toiletry bag."

Obi-Wan turned and looked to discover the contents had been spilled right in front of the doormat at their tent. Right on the spot Anakin had wiped his feet after walking into wampa-rat poodoo, Obi-Wan's only toothbrush had landed face-down.

Obi-Wan also made a funny noise.

"Well, you can borrow _mine_," said Ahsoka.

* * *

Captain Rex calmly put another handful of kindling in the fire pit. For a moment, he watched the bright flames dance their heated ballet as sparks flew into the air above. His muscles were all tensed up as he sat hunched over on the tree stump. He caught himself looking back up at what there was to see of Site 62. Most of it was now concealed because Grievous and Dooku had hung out their capes to dry on a clothesline, which on the side of the camp facing theirs.

"Rex, relax a little bit," Ahsoka said soothingly. She sat next to him in a lawn chair. She waved the end of her cooking stick over the fire pit, not knowing how close she came to nicking Anakin's nose. Anakin, startled, backed away and grimaced to himself.

"Relaxed? Of course I'm relaxed," said Rex, looking down at his hands.

Ahsoka smiled.

"Of course you are."

He glanced up at her and couldn't help but notice something.

"Where is—you don't have your lightsaber?"

"What? Oh, no, why would I need it?"

"I don't know." He made a gesture toward the nearby campsite. "Maybe because two Separatist leaders are about _twenty feet_ away from us?"

Acscati Lake was barely visible as the last of the sunset faded out. On the opposite side of the fire pit, Obi-Wan and Anakin's faces glowed a deep orange against the darkness. Ahsoka leaned back in her lawn chair.

"We'll be fine. Trust me, Rex."

"But—"

"Well, I know _I'm _ready!" Anakin interrupted, yanking out his own cooking stick. He stared up at it like it was a lightsaber, as Obi-Wan looked on with a perplexed expression.

"Ready for _what_?" Obi-Wan was almost afraid to ask. Well, at least something was taking Anakin's mind off their neighbors.

"Roast marshmallows!"

Obi-Wan blinked.

"What are those, Anakin?"

"Um, it's a dessert for camping, Obi." It was Anakin's turn to blink, and he glanced at the three blank faces all staring at him. "What? I know nothing about camping but even _I _know about roast marshmallows!"

"Please inform us of these malsh-borrows desserts," said Obi-Wan. He wasn't in the mood for dessert. For supper, they had cleaned up a container of beans and rice, and Obi-Wan was stuffed.

"_Marshmallows_, Obi-Wan," Anakin was more than glad to correct.

"I don't know, Master," Ahsoka said, patting her stomach. "If you're the only one here who knows about this dessert thing, are you sure it's a good idea?"

"Of course it's a..." Anakin's hand stopped just before grabbing the bag under his lawn chair, "and what's _that _supposed to mean?"

"Just go on, Anakin."

_I want to go to bed, _thought Obi-Wan.

Anakin bit his lower lip and pulled out his bag. Inside he pulled out a marshmallow container, chocolate bars, and a box of graham crackers. Rex, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka stared wide-eyed as he took a marshmallow and stuck it on the end of his cooking stick.

"First, you cook it over the fire. Then you put a piece of chocolate on top. Stick it between two graham crackers like a sandwich, and you have your dessert!"

Obi-Wan heard a sound from Site 62.

"You heard me, my apprentice. Are you implying that you wish to defy your master's orders? In that case, I shall have to—"

"Not at all, Count Dooku! But it was _your _idea in the first place not to bring our—"

At that point, Dooku made a hushing noise so Grievous would stop yelling, and Obi-Wan did not catch what Grievous was going to say next. He turned away as Anakin stuck his marshmallow in the fire, smiling for the first time since they had arrived at the campsite.

"You're all going to _love _these. Believe me, once you've had some of this sugary gooey goodness, you'll feel much better."

"Sugary? Gooey?" Obi-Wan echoed worriedly. Neither of Anakin's word choices had appealed to him. He knew very well that a healthy overdose of sugar right before bed did not exactly work dreamland wonders.

"It sounds good to me," Ahsoka said, cracking a smile.

"I'll pass, thanks," Rex said, waving the smoke out of his eyes.

Obi-Wan watched with horror as the little white ball of fluff on the end of Anakin's cooking stick began to melt and turn to a tender brown. Ahsoka smacked her lips together, feeling hungry all over again.

"Are you sure this is a good idea...?"

"Why _wouldn't _it be, Obi?" Anakin snapped.

Suddenly, a small arm of flame snapped out and caught on the marshmallow. Obi-Wan watched as it went up in flames like a little fireball. Ahsoka gasped.

"Oh, Anakin. You weren't paying attention," Obi-Wan muttered.

"You burned it," Ahsoka sighed.

"No! It's not too late! Burnt marshmallow is still saveable!"

Behind them, Obi-Wan heard a rustle in the bushes. His muscles tensed. So did Rex's.

"Anakin, wait, I think I hear someth—"

"Don't just sit there! Help me put it out!" Anakin pulled his cooking stick out of the fire, holding it in front of him helplessly as it burned to a crisp.

"Don't do that—"

The rustling grew louder, and Obi-Wan suddenly heard giant footsteps pound the ground.

Rex and Ahsoka jumped up at once, as a shout sounded behind Obi-Wan and Anakin.

"Just try it, Jedi! Just try it!"

"It's Grievous!" Ahsoka shouted. By second nature, she reached for her lightsaber.

"I told you..." Rex muttered, as he yanked out his pistols. "Stop right there, Grievous!"

"Wait, what..." Anakin stood up and spun around, waving the still-flaming marshmallow.

"Anakin, look out—!"

But Obi-Wan was too late, and the marshmallow slapped him right across the face. Sugary gooey goodness got all over the side of his beard and his cheek felt as if it was on fire.

Grievous charged towards them, running at a fast pace. Obi-Wan rolled over, trying to get the hot goo off his face, but it only stuck to his fingers and dripped down to his cloak. He groaned.

_That's _exactly _what I feared was going to happen!_

"Wait a sec," Ahsoka said to Rex, and then she yelled at Grievous, "Hey, you overgrown tinny, where are all your lightsabers?"

"I don't see _you _carrying one around!" he shrieked as he swung his arm at Anakin's head. Anakin ducked and missed by mere inches.

"Oh, Anakin. Best look out," Obi-Wan mumbled, as out of one non-gooey eye he saw Grievous attack Anakin. Anakin yelled and backed away. Rex didn't dare shoot lest he accidentally hit Anakin. Grievous now stood between them and the tents. There was no chance of fetching their lightsabers. Obi-Wan sank into his lawn chair, trying to make himself invisible.

"As soon as I'm finished with young Skywalker, you're next, Kenobi!"

"I got an idea," Ahsoka said to Rex, as Grievous knocked Anakin's cooking stick out of his hand. Before Rex or Obi-Wan could do anything else, Ahsoka snatched Anakin's bag, pulled out a marshmallow, and stuck it on her cooking stick. In seconds she had buried it in the fire and it was aflame.

"Master!" she yelled, and tossed him her cooking stick in the air. Anakin caught it, smiling as he knew what her plan was.

"Hah! You really think you can beat me with—"

Just as he had done to Obi-Wan, Anakin swung Ahsoka's cooking stick in the air. It caught on one of Grievous' eyes. Marshmallow goo got all over his mask and in his eye.

Grievous let out a yell and backed away. Anakin laughed while swinging the lethal fiery goodness in front of him, leaving a trail of ashes and smoke in the air. To Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, and Rex, he looked a little crazy—perhaps the long trip in the _Twilight _had gotten to him. Whatever it was, it was enough to send Grievous crawling like a spider back into the darkness, shouting at the top of his lungs,

"This isn't the end, you little cheater!"

Anakin just snorted and put out the last of the marshmallow. Two-and-a-half pairs of eyes looked on at the spot Grievous had been.

"I think we should go and finish them now. The guy doesn't even have his lightsabers," said Ahsoka.

"No. Absolutely not," Obi-Wan nearly shouted, cradling the side of his face. He wanted to stand, but he wasn't up for it. "No more marshmallow desserts for tonight. I'm going to the bathhouse to get this sugary goo out of my beard. Then I'm going to bed. Tomorrow, I'm going fishing and I'm not going to fight anyone."

Anakin rolled his eyes.

"Whatever you say..." he muttered.

Back at Site 62, Grievous was enraged at both Dooku and the Jedi. Dooku wasn't entirely pleased, either.

"Was it so difficult a task to create a diversion for two Jedi, a Padawan, and a clone?" he demanded.

"You don't understand, my master. I got this evil, sugar, _stuff _in my eye." Grievous couldn't help but add, "And it was _your _idea not to bring our lightsabers, you know!"

* * *

**The marshmallow scene was actually the idea that started this whole story. One of the things I randomly thought up in front of a campfire as I was thinking of TCW. **

**Please review if you laughed out loud even once. Please review if you feel awful for Obi-Wan so far. And please review if you loved imagining Anakin trying to put out a burning marshmallow and swooshing it around!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the reviews already - here is Chapter Four!**

**Oh, by the way, this opening scene is a true story. I was Ahsoka...  
**

* * *

That night, Obi-Wan and Rex agreed to take shifts on watch. Even though neither Grievous or Dooku ever attacked again, it was a precaution they could not afford to avoid. All during his watch, Obi-Wan scrubbed and picked at the pieces of marshmallow still in his beard, but not much of it was coming out. To keep himself awake, he reviewed battle strategies and maneuvers in his head until he was absolutely sick of it.

Ahsoka did not sleep a wink. After the attack, she was all wound-up. Sleep was the last thing on her mind. She tossed and turned in her tent, trying to relax and staring up at the ceiling. She finally resorted to calming her mind through Force meditation.

It seemed to work, and about a half hour later her eyelids were at last beginning to droop. Her body sank into her sleeping bag, and she was so close to falling asleep, when—

Right outside her tent she heard a twig snap.

Her eyes opened.

_What was that? _She wondered. Then she thought, _Oh, probably just a small animal._

And then she heard it. A deep, low grunt, almost like a growl. It sounded very large and, very close.

_Bantha fodder! _She thought, her eyes wide open. _That sounds like a _bear!

Obi-Wan had warned her about bears in Acscati Park. They were huge and furry and they loved food. Why, if you weren't careful, they'd smell the scent of food still on your clothes, and they would try to get into the tent, and _then_ they would—

Ahsoka sat straight up and reached into the darkness for her lightsaber. She was wide awake now. Her blood rushed with adrenaline! Then she heard it again!

_Wait a second..._

That grunt didn't sound like a bear that time. Not at all. It sounded more like...

Oh, great. Just great. It hadn't been a bear. It was Anakin's snoring all the way from their tent on the opposite end of their campsite.

Ahsoka put down her lightsaber, cursing to herself as she snuggled up back in the sleeping bag, her heart still racing. Blast it. Now it would take at least a couple hours to start falling asleep again.

_Darn that Sky-guy..._

Anakin and Captain Rex woke up the next morning to find Obi-Wan fixing hot coffee. He had his back to them as he mixed cream and sugar in his cup. Ahsoka was already up and sitting in her lawn chair in front of the campfire with a blanket over her shoulders.

"Morning, Snips," said Anakin. Man, did he sleep good!

Ahsoka mumbled something in reply, and it didn't sound very complimentary.

"Well, that's a nice way to greet your master," Anakin replied, turning to Obi-Wan. "So what's for breakfast?" Anakin peered over Obi-Wan's shoulder to see what was on the picnic table, which had their plates and utensils all set out. The early morning sun shone through the treetops and some crows were making noise nearby. So far, no sound came from the other campsites, not even Site 62. It was very still in Ewok Paw. The lake appeared white behind the trees with a thin layer of fog on top. The sky was clear. Obi-Wan had woken up and thought, today is the perfect day to go fishing.

"Oh, I already ate on my own since I'm heading out soon. You three can have whatever you want."

"How generous of you," Anakin grumbled.

"Oh, get off my back. I am putting sole responsibility on myself for bringing back lots of fish this afternoon. We will have quite the hearty meal tonight."

"But—"

"Why don't you two see what you can cook up? We have plenty of supplies."

"But what are we supposed to do?"

"Well, let's see—there's hiking trails, kayaks, sightseeing tours, a visiting center, a gift shop...Anakin, there's plenty of things for you three to do. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way. I have to rent a canoe at the docks."

Before Anakin could protest, Obi-Wan climbed into the cockpit of _Twilight _and lifted it off the ground. He was afraid that Grievous or Dooku might try to stop him, but still Site 62 remained silent.

_Curious_. But what could he do about it? This was a vacation, not a battleground. And today was going to be a good day for Obi-Wan because he would be fishing all on his own. What harm could those two do him if he was out in the middle of a _lake_?

By late morning, the bright sun was beating down on Acscati Lake. Obi-Wan's red canoe with the yellow stripe glided across the bumpy water surface. The sky was cloudless and a slight breeze sent a whispering hush through the trees along the shore.

_Ahh, what a day! _Obi-Wan thought pleasantly. He readjusted his baseball cap, which the men at the rental store had let him borrow so he wouldn't burn his scalp. With a long sigh, he pulled off his boots and socks and let his bare feet hang over the edge of the canoe. He cast out his fishing line and let his eyes rest on the bobber. This sure beat sitting around the Jedi Temple all day.

Even in the moment, he couldn't help but glance down at the floor of the canoe to be sure he had brought everything he needed. Snacks, bait-and-tackle box, sunscreen lotion—no lightsaber. But he didn't think he would need his lightsaber.

Obi-Wan detected a change in the waves. The ripples were stronger. Another canoe was approaching.

As he balanced the handle between his legs to take a swig from his water canteen, he stole a glance over his shoulder to see who was passing. Inwardly, he hoped they would leave him for his own meditation and peace and quiet.

No!

To Obi-Wan's horror and greatest surprise, he saw General Grievous leaning back in a gray canoe. In two of his four hands he held fishing poles. Unlike Obi-Wan, he did not have a baseball cap.

Obi-Wan blinked and decided to remain peaceful for the moment. Grievous turned and noticed him right away as the two canoes were passing.

"Kenobi...!" Grievous growled as he sat upright.

"In the flesh," Obi-Wan replied with a small smile.

Grievous let out what he might have called a menacing laugh, as one of his feet pounded the floor of the canoe. That definitely scared some of the fish away.

"Get out of my way! This area of the lake is mine! Turn your little boat in the other direction or I shall be forced to—"

"Would you stop making so much _noise_? You're scaring off my lunch."

"They're all_ mine_, Kenobi! And those fish will never escape the wrath of General Grievous! Now move out of my territory!"

"Um, as far as I can recall, I was here first."

"Who cares who was here first? And now I shall have to _destroy you_!"

"What are you planning to do? You don't even have your lightsaber," Obi-Wan interrupted for the second time.

He pulled his feet back into the canoe and turned around on his seat, as Grievous stood up. The Separatist general planted one foot on each side of the canoe to steady himself and drew out two oars, one for each arm.

"You might know the meaning of negotiation, but _I _know the meaning of improvisation!"

Obi-Wan quickly grabbed his own oar and held it up to his head just in time to block Grievous' blow. Grievous laughed and attacked again. Obi-Wan's fishing pole tumbled over the edge as he too stood up and lashed out at Grievous with his oar.

The water beneath became choppy. Obi-Wan's legs felt wobbly as their canoes began to knock against each other. Both of them were rocking back and forth in the water. Grievous received a blow to the side, to which he yelled and nicked Obi-Wan's shoulder. Obi-Wan parried and hit Grievous again. Then the tip of the oar bumped him on the chin.

_Why does he always have to come in and ruin _everything_? _So far it had seemed that Grievous had to show up just when things were getting good and Obi-Wan was beginning to relax. Would he have to blow them sky-high right out of Site 62 ?

Grievous cackled again as he leaned forward and his canoe nearly tipped Obi-Wan's over.

"Your methods of skill with an oar are no match for—"

Obi-Wan parried again and struck Grievous upside the head. The blow seemed to freeze him up and give him quite a stun. He leaned backwards, groaning. Then he slowly tipped back and the canoe began to turn over on its side underneath him. Obi-Wan felt Grievous' hand reach out and snatch him by his cloak.

"What are you doing? Stop that!" he yelled, as Grievous tried to steady himself by pulling on Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan started to pry the mechanical fingers off him.

"_You _stop that!"

"You're just going to...oh, no...!"

Grievous' weight was too much. Obi-Wan felt himself lose balance and the floor slip underneath his feet. He fell backwards and landed face-up in the water, forming a huge splash that got in Grievous' eyes. The canoe capsized and everything in it went under. Grievous landed with his stomach atop Obi-Wan's canoe.

_Holy-friffing-Bantha-fodder! _thought Obi-Wan for the first time in several years. _That water's _cold_!_

Obi-Wan's head returned to the surface and he shook the water out of his eyes. Their oars began to drift away. He glared at Grievous, who rolled off his canoe and grabbed his own.

Obi-Wan clung to the edge of his canoe and began kicking away. He didn't dare think about the bait-and-tackle box sinking to the bottom and all the creds that went with it. Not to mention his snacks.

"Thank you for that _brilliant_ move of yours, Grievous," he growled as he stretched one arm out to stroke.

Grievous began to swim away in the other direction using the dog-paddle.

"My pleasure, Kenobi," he replied with as much sarcasm.

_At least he was the one who made himself out to be the fool, _Obi-Wan reflected.

Too water-brained to go dog-paddling after a Jedi, Grievous began swimming away. Cursing and muttering to himself, he dragged the canoe behind him. It was twice as heavy because of all the water in it.

That wasn't his fault. It was Kenobi's fault! Kenobi was the one who didn't heed his warning when it was delivered to him fair and square! He vowed to have his revenge for this outrage.

Dooku was not going to be a pleasant man when he was told there were no fish for supper. That had been Grievous' orders for the morning. He was going to get it!

Unless...

It was perfect. He'd hire those battle droids sleeping back in their ship! _They _could catch some fish!

Grievous paddled to the nearest dock, relieved to have found a solution to this problem.

Four hours later, just about when Dooku was expecting his meal, Grievous took his canoe back out into Acscati Lake. With his new oar, he paddled to the spot where he had left the three battle droids to fish in a small rented boat. They each had their own fishing pole and a whole box of bait-and-tackle. Grievous halted his canoe up against theirs.

"All right, you dumb droids. Let us see how many fish you have caught for our master."

Grievous peered over the edge, hoping to see dozens of walleye and perch flopping around the battle droids' feet.

He only saw the bait-and-tackle box. He blinked.

"What—what is this? Why are there no fish?" he screamed at the top of his lungs. It echoed among the trees along the shoreline.

"Uh, sir..." the middle droid piped up, his head hung low, "there's no fish biting."

"Yeah, not one bite," the right one added.

"It's not like it's _our _fault," chimed in the left one.

"What do you mean, no fish are biting? When I threatened to strangle the men at the rental shop, they told me up to 20 fish have been caught at this very spot!"

"Maybe it's just a bad day," said the right battle droid.

"Yeah, bad luck," the left one chimed in.

"Did you do everything I ordered you to do?" Grievous panicked.

All three battle droids eagerly nodded their heads.

"Then _why _is there no bait taken out of that tackle box?"

The battle droids all looked down at the box for a long pause. Then the middle one said,

"Oh, _that's _what those things were. I thought those were our snacks."

"We don't exactly eat snacks, sir..." the right one informed.

"_Idiots! _Don't tell me you didn't put any bait on your hooks?"

One by one, the battle droids lifted their lines out of the water. Grievous glared at three small hooks with no bait on them.

"Uh...we were supposed to put bait on these things?" asked the right battle droid.

"I guess _that's_ why we haven't caught anything for four hours," remarked the middle one.

"How else do you expect to catch the fish? You stupid, _stupid _minions! I always ask too much of your puny brains!"

The left one hesitated, then glanced up at the sky.

"Well, at least the sun's shining!" it declared cheerily.

Grievous growled menacingly.

"_Uh_-oh..."

The next day, Obi-Wan decided to spend the morning relaxing in his hammock. Rex, knowing what was best, took Anakin and Ahsoka on a hike on one of the trails.

Obi-Wan munched on some trail mix, trying to put his thoughts away. He was still brooding over how Anakin had blamed him for their lack of supper last night. Sure, Obi-Wan had deliberately stated he had sole responsibility for catching enough fish for them eat. How could he have known Grievous would be fishing too?

As if by a staggering coincidence, Dooku was upset for almost the exact same reason, and was hunched over that morning's campfire with a bowl of bland porridge in front of him. Leave it to Grievous to take such a simple order as catching a few fish and make it into a whole mess. Not only had Dooku missed his supper, but he had been sent to the Park Rangers' office because three droids had been found in the lake, which was against the No Droids regulation. Lots of explanation and paperwork followed—not to mention Grievous forgetting to pay the rent for the canoes.

_I'll attack Obi-Wan when I'm in a better mood, _he finally decided.

Obi-Wan finally closed his eyes and began to breathe more easily. With his lightsaber lying over his stomach, he didn't feel worried if Dooku should chance to attack him at any time.

All at once, he was startled to hear the loud roar of an approaching ship. His eyes shot open.

_What in the galaxies..._he stared up as a huge, tattooed ship landed right next to the bathhouse in the center of Ewok Paw campground. _Why, it's a pirate ship!_

A familiar Weequay figure stepped out.

_Oh, blast it. It's Hondo!_

Obi-Wan jumped out of the hammock, grabbing his lightsaber. Hondo's gang of Weequay pirates followed after him, racing out of the ship and forming a circle around the bathhouse. Obi-Wan could hear commotion beginning to stir among the other campsites as campers rubbed the sand out of their eyes and quickly dressed to see what was going on. The pirates surrounded the bathhouse and Hondo began laughing. To Obi-Wan, he sounded rather high on something horrendous, like disinfectant or droid polisher.

"My name is Hondo Ohnaka," the Weequay cried, "and I am taking this bathhouse as my own!"

_Why, what a fool, _thought Obi-Wan!


	5. Chapter 5

**So, random question just for the sake of itself: has anyone gone camping yet this summer?**

**I plan on it!**

* * *

Unfortunately, by that afternoon, Obi-Wan was far too occupied to notice that Count Dooku had left Site 62 and headed out on the hiking trails. Dooku had been pretending to sleep inside his ship when he heard Rex suggest to Anakin and Ahsoka they head out on the Zillo Beast Trail, which they agreed to. Then Dooku had calmly fixed a breakfast of fruit mix and biscuits with gravy, while Grievous dragged the three droids to the incinerator.

Now it was getting to be around two PM, and Dooku had landed his ship at the end of Zillo Beast Trail. He stood outside the ship, waiting, his lightsaber on his belt just in case Skywalker was going to be the Skywalker he certainly knew. The trail was normally steep but flattened out towards the end; it was all surrounded by thick, rich green forest. Half of the trail looked out to Acscati Lake, which Dooku could see behind the trees. It was a rather beautiful lake.

Once this blew over, maybe he could go swimming in it. That is, if Skywalker would...

Speaking of which, Dooku noticed three figures—two Jedi and a clone—appear around the bend about twenty feet ahead. His face remained emotionless as he snapped open a bag of potato chips and slipped the first chip into his mouth.

Ahsoka was the first to notice him.

"_Dooku_," she hissed, and immediately drew out her lightsabers.

"You again," Anakin growled. "What have you done with Obi-Wan? Where's Grievous? Where are you holding a senator or innocent person hostage?"

"My, my, young Skywalker...jumping to conclusions so soon? I expected as much."

Ahsoka's eyes narrowed, and Rex reached for his double blasters. In response, Dooku raised an open hand, holding the bag of chips in the other.

"There will be no need for violence on either of our account. That is not why I came here, after all." He couldn't help but add subtly, "Even a Separatist lord needs his own relaxation and rest from time to time."

"That's _rest_ and _relaxation_," Ahsoka couldn't help but correct.

"Whatever," Dooku muttered, munching on another potato chip.

"Well, what _do _you want? Don't tell me you came just to _talk_," said Anakin.

Rex stood his ground. He knew what Dooku was capable of.

Dooku cleared the crumbs out of his throat and spoke.

"There is an urgent matter down at Ewok Paw campground. If we do not act quickly, the situation will become rather desperate."

"What kind of situation?" Anakin demanded.

Dooku's face hardened.

"It seems that the pirate Hondo Ohnaka and his gang have arrived at the campground," he said.

All three stopped and stared. Ahsoka wanted to laugh. She had been expecting something much more serious, like Grievous had devised a _brilliant _plan to drain all the water out of Acscati Lake for a new form of energy. Or the whole Acscati Park had turned out to be governed and controlled by Death Watch. But Hondo...he was just a pirate.

"And why would that be urgent?" asked Anakin.

"_Because_," said Dooku, "they are holding up the bathhouse."

Obi-Wan held out his deactivated lightsaber at his side.

"Look here, Hondo! I shall throw down my lightsaber and we can discuss this on peaceful—"

Three blasts from separate pirate guns came his way. Obi-Wan quickly jumped to the side and landed gracefully on half a fallen log.

"You don't understand, Jedi!" Hondo cackled, waving his blaster in the air. "When I say I take something as my own, that means _no one else will use it_!"

All Obi-Wan could do at the moment was glare at the little Weequay figure on the top of the hill.

At the center of Ewok Paw campground the ground slid up—not dramatically, but enough so that a few steps were required along the paths. At the summit of this hill was the bathhouse, inside which was a lobby-like room with drinking fountains and vending machines, with a door on both the left and right. To the left was the female's bathroom, and to the right was the men's. The only problem was that, as of the moment, only Weequay pirates were coming in and out of the bathhouse.

From Site 59, Obi-Wan heard a group of campers yelling indignantly.

"You stinking pirates! You get back in your ship and give us back our bathhouse!"

"I shall never do such a thing!" cried Hondo.

Obi-Wan noticed another smaller group stampede up one of the paths, waving cooking sticks and damp rolled-up bath towels in the air. Several pirates turned and fired at them, hitting one in the shoulder as a warning. They took off in the other direction back to their campsite as more blasts missed them by mere inches.

"Frankly, Hondo," he piped up, "your plan doesn't seem to be making much sense to me. What gain do you have in violating us campers' rights to a clean shower and a lavatory?"

Hondo hesitated and stared down at the Jedi. Obi-Wan hid his own inward smile.

"Hondo, wouldn't it make much more sense if you, for example, ordered a toll for every camper to enter? Or if you charged a fine for every minute spent inside?"

"Don't be a _fool_! If I did that, you would never use it anyway. And if my doors were open, you and those Separatists would catch us off guard and drive us away! No, I think I'll stay right here and let my comrades and I have our own camping trip while we watch the rest of you suffer!"

_You have to admit, he does have a point, _Obi-Wan thought sadly.

Suddenly, he was surprised to see Dooku's ship land back in Site 62. When Dooku stepped out onto the docking ramp, he did not look happy. In fact, he had his red activated lightsaber with him. And Obi-Wan had just thrown his one away.

_Kriff it._

He was even more surprised when behind Dooku, out came Anakin, Ahsoka, Rex, _and _General Grievous. And—and nobody was fighting each other?

"Why do you stare like that?" Dooku inquired calmly, his lightsaber at his side.

"Obi-Wan, look," sighed Anakin, "the only way we're gonna get our bathhouse back is if we work together as a team. If only this once. We'll have plenty of time to kill these two Separatist dudes later, but right now the situation is urgent."

"What have you been huffing _now_, Anakin?" Obi-Wan demanded.

"I think you mean _I'll _still have plenty of time to help myself to some well-cooked Jedi over a fire!" Grievous gladly corrected.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Ahsoka snorted, jumping out of Grievous' way and landing at her Master's side. Dooku glared ahead at the bathhouse.

"Tell me, Kenobi, how is the situation?" asked Dooku.

Obi-Wan decided to just suck it up for the moment. After all, he decided as he used the Force to retrieve his lightsaber, the more assistance they had in this, the sooner it would be done and over with.

"It looks rather grim," he replied. "They fire at anyone who tries to come up the hill and won't accept any bribes. I tried to make a call of complaint to the Acscati Park Rangers' office, but it seems Hondo has cut off all communication with the outside. Oh yes, I also tried negotiating, but Weequay are rather—stubborn."

"Or pirates are stubborn," Grievous growled.

"Or _both_," added Anakin.

"_Or _it's just Hondo," Ahsoka chimed in, drawing out her lightsabers.

"The point is—!" said Obi-Wan, "the sooner we develop a strategy and remove those pirates from our campground, the better. Then we'll go about our separate ways as if nothing ever happened. If you won't bother us during our stay, we'll have no reason to bother you."

"Agreed." Dooku nodded slowly, then looked back up at the top of the hill. "So what is the plan?"

For a moment, all six hesitated in thought, trying to come up with a strategy.

"I've got an idea," Anakin suddenly blurted out, and everyone turned to face him. "Obi-Wan and Dooku try to talk negotiations with Hondo, while the rest of us take them from behind by surprise!"

"That won't work, Anakin. Since I've already attempted peace-talk, he'll know better than to fall for it. He knows I wouldn't try it again," Obi-Wan grumbled.

"Two of us could make a diversion for Hondo," suggested Rex, "while the other four take the left and right flanks. Then we cut through the middle."

"Worth a try, I suppose," Dooku muttered, as if he was suddenly exhausted or fatigued.

"Let's do it, then," said Anakin resolutely, and he pulled out his lightsaber.

"Right," said Obi-Wan. "Anakin and Grievous, you take the left flank. Dooku and Ahsoka will take the right. And Rex and I will lead the diversion. When we have their attention, you four take your lead." Then he finished with a sigh. "Well, I hope this works. I still smell like algae from that little swim in the lake while fishing yesterday, and I desperately want a shower."

"Why on earth did you go swimming while fishing?" Dooku pried.

Obi-Wan cast a disapproving glance at Grievous, but silently pointed the way to their positions. Anakin and Grievous began a sprint down the pathway to the left, and Dooku took the right. Obi-Wan glanced behind him just before leaving.

"Ahsoka, go on."

"Why did you have to send me with that old man Separatist? I wanted to go with you or Skyguy."

"Just do as I told you," he groaned, and followed Rex up the path ahead of them.

Obi-Wan could no longer see any of the others, which he considered a good thing for the moment. He watched as Rex pinned himself behind a tree, and he crouched behind a fallen log. They were only about thirty feet away from the bathhouse, where several pirates including Hondo were playing a game of cards with their blasters in their laps. They waited a couple minutes or so to give the others time to get in position.

Then Rex made a small nod at him, turned, and shot into the group of Weequay's. One of them was hit on the leg and the others quickly jumped up with their blasters. All at once it felt as if blasts were raining down on them from the top of the hill.

Obi-Wan deflected several and then crouched down again, hoping with all his heart that the plan would work. The last thing he wanted to do on his vacation was spend it building battle strategies and working with Separatists—_ugh_. That was exactly what he came here _not _to do!

Any moment now, Anakin and the others should be attacking. Obi-Wan waited to hear them, the slashing of lightsabers. He didn't hear anything but Hondo's gang yelling at them. He waited a moment longer, and still. The smell of freshly-popped popcorn wafted through the air, and he poked his head up just enough to see half of the pirate gang sharing a big bowl of snacks as the others continued firing down at them.

Any _moment now_...

"Where the kriff are they?" Rex shouted.

"Retreat!" Obi-Wan heard someone yell, and then he saw figures racing down the hill. He would've liked to imagine that was a Weeuqay he heard, maybe even Hondo himself. But, of course, that would be asking for too much, wouldn't it?

"_Grievous_? Why are you suddenly retreating? You're supposed to be with Skywalker!" Obi-Wan shouted.

"I didn't have a choice! Your Padawan was trying to take all the glory and I had to humble him up a little! Then the next thing you know, I'm—"

Grievous never finished, for Dooku and Ahsoka came running from the other side with laughing pirates on their tail.

"You younglings never learn, do you?" Dooku was howling.

"Master, this retired Separatist freak was trying to—!"

"I _don't _want to hear it!" cried Obi-Wan to Ahsoka. Anakin soon appeared as well, not seeming happy with Grievous one bit.

"Hah! Just try that again! I dare you, to just try it!" Hondo was cackling.

Obi-Wan and Rex looked up in dismal defeat.

In the back of his mind, somewhere, Obi-Wan should have known the plan would never work out anyway. And now all they had to show for it was an embarrassing loss to Hondo Ohnaka, of all people to lose to! He supposed his desperate shower would have to wait a while, as well as any chance of getting a decent sleep tonight—not with those pirates roaming about.

_It would be a vacation just to get away from this vacation, _he thought with a groan.

"Well, it's no use standing around. Let's get out of here," he sighed.

Anakin, Rex, and Ahsoka dragged their feet behind him, as Dooku and Grievous headed back to their ship, heads lowered in humiliation. Obi-Wan could hear Dooku muttering,

"I ask you to do _one _simple thing, and..."

"You really expect me to cooperate with a little cocky Jedi _youngling_? I'd just as soon be melted down for spare parts!"

"Do not tempt me, Grievous. Just, don't."

When the quartet returned to their campsite, they threw their weapons inside the tent and made themselves comfortable as long as they were a distance away from each other. Anakin ran into the woods to use the bathroom, Ahsoka hid in her tent, and Rex and Obi-Wan sat on opposite ends of the fire pit. It was getting time for supper but no one was even thinking about eating. Rex kept glancing up at Site 62.

"Things will look brighter tomorrow, sir," Rex finally blurted out.

"Probably," muttered Obi-Wan. "Our alliance with Dooku and Grievous is rather unstable and we cannot trust them for long. And who knows who Hondo might be bringing in during the next few days as _his _own allies? On top of that, there's the other campers to be concerned about."

"So much for being a vacation, huh?"

"_Hm_."

It reminded him of the strange comment the Rodian at the registration office had made about if anyone died. He wondered if such events were normal for Acscati Park—and if so, why none of that information had come up in his research. It definitely would have saved him a lot of trouble. A _lot _of trouble.

Why, right now he could be sunbathing in a Tattooine village, or exploring Naboo waterfalls and gardens. Maybe even reading a book in a small well-concealed Coruscant apartment. Anything but camping, that was for sure.

_Just remember, _he told himself, _it could be worse. It could always be worse._

Yes, it could.


	6. Chapter 6

**Only 2-3 chapters left and this little story will be all done! Does time fly!**

**Anyway, now that the finale is coming around the bend, I am taking up requests for cameos in the future chapters.  
**

**Which Clone Wars character would _you _like to see make a small appearance? Please leave your request(s) in a review. Thanks for your time, and have fun, because that's what this story is all about.  
**

* * *

By next morning, Obi-Wan was morbidly depressed.

He could not nap or read a book because Hondo and his gang were making too much noise. He could not take a long, luxurious shower because the bathhouse was still occupied by the darn Weequay's. He could not go fishing because Grievous was. All he could do was sit in front of the campire and munch on cold, leftover marshmallows.

"Oh, cheer up," Anakin muttered to him as he returned from their tent.

"And how do you expect me to do _that_? I haven't sleep for two nights because of Hondo, Dooku and Grievous constantly threaten us from right next door, and I haven't showered in three days!"

"Well..." Anakin couldn't help but add, "this _was _your idea in the first place."

"It wasn't _my _idea for the two of you to come along!"

"Oh, so now you're blaming me, is that it? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the one who—"

"Oh, shuttup, I'm getting a migraine," Obi-Wan groaned. He rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands, pressing on both sides of his head. Rex had returned from a scout around the batthouse and had come within inches from being sniped down by Hondo, and was back at the camp absent of any promising news.

"_Why _are you getting a migraine?" asked Ahsoka, who was trying to cook a cold hot dog.

"_Because _there's no water to make coffee, and all the fresh water is up at the bathhouse," mumbled Obi-Wan. In fact, both Anakin and Ahsoka were helping to contribute as well.

"You have a weakness for caffeine, I see. Interesting..." Dooku said from Site 62, nodding his head with the slightest of a smile.

"Go kiss a Wookie, Count," Anakin snapped.

Ahsoka turned to Obi-Wan, suddenly thinking of something that may help him. She had been looking forward to going on hiking, boating, and sightseeing expeditions across Acscati Park with Skyguy, Rex and Kenobi, and now this. Kenobi too miserable to even leave the campsite, Anakin using up all his energy to complain and rant, and Rex being the housekeeper since the rest of them were too lazy.

"How about we all go to the beach?" she piped up, grinning ear-to-ear.

Anakin smirked. Just what the medic ordered. He just knew Obi-Wan would feel better once he had been out in the sun for a while. Then they could actually start developing another plan to take the bathhouse back.

"C'mon, Obi-Wan," he scoffed when Obi-Wan shook his head, "it'll do you good. Look, the sun is shining and if you get out from under the treetops you can get some sunbathing in! Oh, heck, I'll even promise to cook our lunch _and _supper if it'll mean that much to you!"

"But _Anakin_...what about the other campers we must protect from Hondo...? And Grievous, and Dooku, and—"

"This is a vacation, Master," Ahsoka pointed out.

At that, Obi-Wan jumped up from his chair and forced his lungs full of fresh late-morning air. He ignored the sound of Hondo's gang laughing as they scared the last of the chirping birds out of the trees, and the growing protests of the other campers in need of a real toilet and shower.

"All right. All, _right_! Everyone put on your swimsuits and grab your sunscreen and towels and comlinks. We'll go to the beach."

"Yay!" cried Ahsoka.

"Yes!" shouted Anakin.

"Wait a minute..." said Rex, as he noticed Dooku approaching them.

"You four are going to the beach?" the Count inquired in a heavily-curious tone. "Then I suppose I have no choice but to tag along."

When everyone had finally changed into swimsuits or swimtrunks, they set off in their ship to the Acscati Lake beach. They all had their own sunscreen, a towel, and a pair of sunglasses, and the sun was shining brightly.

Ahsoka was beside herself—her white bikini with the sun-yellow swirly patterns complimented her complexion, and it looked great and matched her towel. Rex looked good in his standard clone's trunks, even though he didn't seem to be in the mood to go to the beach at the moment. Obi-Wan refused to take off his shirt until they arrived, and his desert-tan swimtrunks looked kind of boring in her opinion. Anakin was wearing bright green trunks with evergreen palms to decorate. That, plus his black sandals, aviator sunglasses, and the fact that his arms and neck were three times darker than his chest, made Ahsoka giggle under her breath.

The second they landed next to the beach, Ahsoka jumped out and ran as if for her life, her towel whipping behind her. Dooku, who had summoned Grievious to join them, exited his ship in front of the cyborg general. He was wearing a blue and yellow Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts, as Dooku wouldn't dare to go swimming when both Skywalker and Kenobi were in the water as well.

"C'mon, slowpokes!" Ahsoka cried.

Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Rex picked up their towels and followed after her. The beach had many campers on it but not too many so that it was crowded. There were figures of various species either lying out in the sand or splashing against the waves, as their younglings hunted for frogs in the reeds. Obi-Wan quickly found the perfect spot close to the water where he could lie down and sunbathe.

_ At least I get to use this wonderful new suncreen of mine for the first time, _Obi-Wan thought as he began spreading the lotion over his arms and shoulders.

When Anakin noticed Obi-Wan laying out his towel and putting on his sunglasses, he scoffed and said,

"Oh,_ c'mon_, Obi, let's go swimming first. It'll feel great!"

"No, thank you. You can go romping around in the water, I think I'll stay on dry ground and be rather boring." With that, he flipped open his book and pretended he was reading.

Anakin shrugged and walked away, kicking off his sandals. Ahsoka was already wading in.

"You do not have to worry about those pirates," Dooku said. Obi-Wan was startled to find that Dooku was standing right behind him. "I shall keep my eyes peeled for them if they dare to try and take our beach. You, my friend, may get wet in peace. I have my eyes open."

"Yes, and that is what I'm afraid of," said Obi-Wan.

Dooku held up his hands, as if to prove his innocence, and went off to find his own spot. Grievous tagged along, feeling very out-of-place.

Meanwhile, out in the water, Ahsoka had resorted to a game that involved splashing Anakin whenever his back was turned to her. She had succeeded for about the sixth time, much to his frustration. Suddenly she felt someone bump into her from behind.

Ahsoka spun around as Anakin shook the water out of his hair.

"Oh...it's you, Lux," she said when she saw him. Lux wore a navy-blue speedo and a small towel was over his neck. He gave a shy little grin.

"Were you expecting someone else?" he asked.

"Well, what are you doing here?"

"Taking a vacation with a few companions. Is that not what you are doing as well?"

Ahsoka found herself glancing around to see if there was anyone else she might recognize.

"Sort of. If you don't mind me asking, have you seen any pirates around?"

"Me? No, not at all. That is, not in Pine Tree Campground."

She cleared her throat and began walking back to the shore to get out of the waves. Lux quickly caught up to her.

"So, do you have any activities planned for the remainder of your stay? How about I buy you a snowcone and we can, you know, do a little catching up?" he pressed.

_Blast, _she thought. _He still thinks I like him from that one time we kissed—that _one time_! Geez. And I thought it was the girls who were clingy._

"Sure, Lux, I'll ask my master to join us," she said, smiling her biggest smile.

"Uh, um, no 'Soka, I meant _we_ as in just us two." Suddenly he turned and spotted Dooku, who was relaxing in a lawn chair under an umbrella. His funny grin evaporated replaced by a scowl. "Why, it's _you_..."

"We meet again," said Dooku, and he lowered his sunglasses down to the nip of his nose, glaring at Lux. "As I can see, you have neglected to bring any sort of weapon with yourself." His finger tapped the lightsaber hooked on his belt.

"I don't need a weapon, I can tear you limb from limb!" Lux cried.

Dooku nodded in Grievious' direction.

"This young man is giving me an ulcer. Chase him away from me, will you?"

Grievous laughed with pleasure and charged towards the two of them. Ahsoka leaped out of the way and landed in front of Dooku.

"Wait a sec, I thought you didn't bring your lightsaber with," she remarked, remembering the night Obi-Wan ate a faceful of burnt marshmallow fluff.

"Not _mine_, youngling. I did not trust Grievous would be able to resist using his own on our so-called relaxtion and rest time, especially at the most inappropriate times. So I brought mine and only mine instead."

"_Rest _and _relaxation_," Ahsoka muttered, as Grievous scooped up a handful of sand that had grown very hot and threw it at Lux.

"You heard him! Now remove your sorry self from this beach...keh-kaugh _ku-ghuh_!" Grievous shouted.

"Ahh! 'Soka, help!" Lux let out a squeal as he took off and sprinted in the other direction. The towel around his neck fell off and he stumbled over a small tree branch, as he was only wearing cheap flip-flops for shoes. One of them slipped off, which Grievous scooped up and hit the back of Lux's head with.

"No thank you, Lux. I'd rather stay on Grievous' good side for now," said Ahsoka.

"_Halp_!" Lux screamed. And Grievous chased him all around the beach, kicking up a cloud of sand behind him as he went—much to the annoyance of the other beach-goers.

"If only that darn Hondo weren't here," Ahsoka hissed to herself. Dooku smiled slyly.

"In my opinion, you should be thanking him."

"Whatev..." She went back to look for Anakin.

Meanwhile, Lux and his buddies snatched up their towels and took off for the pathway leading away from the beach. Grievous laughed in triumph and taunted them as they went, but unfortunately he was the only one laughing. Behind him so much sand had been kicked up into the air that many of the people at the beach began to leave as well. The sand castles that had been built were no more than heaps of wet sand. Obi-Wan was coughing and trying to blow the sand off the pages of his book.

"Thank you once again, Grievous," he sputtered as he wiped his sunglasses with the corner of his towel. He was probably coated with sand by now.

"Well, what did you expect? Do you want me to buy you a _snowcone_?" Grievious scowled.

"Mango-strawberry, and no chunks."

Grievous harrumphed and stomped away. Obi-Wan could not help but chuckle.

He looked up and saw that Ahsoka was trying to take Anakin's floatie from him and claiming it was her turn. Rex was ignoring—or, trying to ignore—a group of bikini-clad Twi'lek women smiling and giggling at him. Stealing a glance around, Obi-Wan also noticed that he and Dooku were the only ones on that stretch of the entire beach.

Finally giving up on reading, Obi-Wan threw the book down at his side, picking at the last of dried marshmallow still stuck in his beard. He tried to lay down and think only about sunbathing. It was nearly impossible. Dooku and Grievous had started up a new argument, and in the distance one could hear Hondo's gang laughing as they sprayed graffiti along the side of the bathhouse.

_What a vacation this turned out to be, _he thought gloomily. What he had thought would be the perfect time to catch up on rest had ended up being a big pain in the what. He felt pretty rotten about wasting ten days that could have been spent toward the war effort, plus pulling Rex off the frontlines for no real reason at all. Master Yoda was not going to be happy when he found a more-exhausted, frustrated, and smellier Obi-Wan than before he had left.

Actually, Obi-Wan realized, today was the only day thus far that was going according to plan.

_All well. Just like I've said before, it can't get much worse than this._

In fact, the only way it could be worse was if...

It must have been sheer coincidence that, as soon as he had that thought, he heard a loud sound from above, much like an explosion. Only it wasn't. Then a moment later the sun's heat vanished.

"What was that?" asked Grievous.

"Impossible," Dooku grumbled, "the forecast said no thunder or rain today."

He barely finished his sentence when, suddenly, Obi-Wan felt buckets of water pour down on him, right as he was lying in his sunbathing position. He heard heavy raindrops crash onto the shore and paddle against the treetops. Ahsoka and the Twi'lek girls screamed and ran for the woods. In seconds, everything was wet.

"Ah, fierfek!" shouted Grievous, as all the sand that had collected on his armor turned to mud.

"C'mon sir, let's get out of here!" Rex shouted at Obi-Wan, pointing to the ship. Dooku jumped up and ran.

Obi-Wan lay there for a moment, the rain splattering off his sunglasses. His brand-new sunscreen lotion was washed off his skin as his last thought was finally dissolved.

_I was wrong. It can get worse._

"C'mon, sir!"

Obi-Wan finally dragged himself up and followed Rex into the ship. By the time they got there, both were drenched head to foot, cold, and shivering. Obi-Wan wanted to wrap himself up in a towel, but they were all soaked.

He found himself glaring at Anakin as they sat down in various seats in the cockpit. Anakin glared right back.

"What?" he snapped.

"It was _your _idea to go to the beach in the first place," said Obi-Wan, as water dripped from his beard, nose, and chin.

"And you're blaming me all over again. You're so the Negotiator..."

"Hey, guys, maybe it'll let up in a little while," Ahsoka piped up.

"One would like to _hope _so," Obi-Wan muttered.

Then he sneezed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:**

**Thanks for all the response to the cameo requests! While I can't guarantee every one of them will be answered, I have taken up a few of them, so stick around to see what's going to happen.  
**

**Are you ready for more Clone Wars madness? Are you _sure_?  
**

* * *

From inside the bathhouse, one could hear the pirates already begin to complain.

"Blast it all to the Outer Rim!" one of them scowled. "Our awesome graffiti never got to dry and now the rain's washing it away!"

"Well, it's not so bad. After all, you didn't ask my permission in the first place," Hondo's distinctive voice interuppted.

Sneaking a glance inside, by any chance, one might see a right-hand-man of Hondo's pull out his change as he walked up to the vending machine, his eyes glazing over the options.

"Hey, Hondo," he asked as he slipped in three quarters for a Mountain Dew, "when is that girlfriend of yours gonna be coming along?"

"She is _not _my girlfriend," Hondo corrected, raising his voice.

Behind the right-hand-man, another Weequay slammed his thumb on the button for a Diet Sprite and yelled,

"Hah! Screw the consumer!"

"Why, you...!" The right-hand-man spun around and clouted him on the cheek. Once he got one square on the jaw, it was an all-out brawl from there. Hondo just guzzled down the Diet Sprite for himself.

* * *

Obi-Wan pinched his nose to hold back another sneeze. He was lying in his sleeping bag inside the tent wrapped in blankets. He was feeling quite miserable as he listened to the pattering against the outside of the tent.

_Of course now it has to rain like Kamino for twenty-four hours nonstop._

Ever since yesterday, the rain had not let up one bit. From what Anakin and Ahsoka told him, many Ewok Paw campers were trying to check out and end their trips prematurely. Maybe not having a bathhouse had been tolerable, and maybe pouring rain—but not both of them at once. Which was just fine for Obi-Wan if they all left.

The only problem was that Hondo's ship fired at anyone who tried to leave the campsite. That pretty much meant they were stuck surrounded by a whole bunch of people who did not want to be there.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes when he heard the tent flap open. Ahsoka crawled inside and handed him a mug.

"Here's some hot chocolate, Master. It'll warm you up in a jiffy," she said, taking off the hood of her raincoat.

"Thank you, Ahsoka."

"I also have to tell you something else." She hesitated, making Obi-Wan automatically fear the worst. "There's someone outside who wants to see you."

"Blast. It wouldn't be Dooku or Grievous by any chance?"

"No, they're out on the lake in canoes. Something about two crazy Zabrak brothers getting themselves stuck on a little island in the middle of Acscati lake. Little as in about twenty feet long."

That _sounds promising, _he thought.

"All right, let him inside."

"Not a _him_, Master."

Just as Ahsoka turned and left the tent, a much taller figure stepped inside, and even in Obi-Wan's state he instantly recognized the ivory skin and the seductive smile.

"Well, I can't say I ever took you for a camper, Ventress," he said.

"I easily adjust to my surroundings, my dear," she replied coolly.

"And may I ask why you're here to see mewhen I'm not in the best condition?"

"Don't you know I went out of my way just to stop here and pay you a visit? Oh, Kenobi, I know you're a hopeless romantic at heart."

"I am _not_. And this isn't exactly a romantic situation—"

"Nonsense. You can't get much more romantic than this. Just the two of us...alone in a tent...the rain pouring outside so loud that no one can hear—"

Obi-Wan sneezed violently, spraying his pillow. Ventress politely cleared her throat.

"Hear _what_?" he snapped.

To his surprise, Ventress leaned forward and began taking off her raincoat, grinning.

"Once the nasty rain lets up," she said slowly and seductively, "we can go take a walk on the beach...or sit in front of the campfire...it's all right, I'm completely immune to your cold, which I must say makes you look even cuter than before..."

"Anakin, help me!" Obi-Wan backed away, but he felt himself pinned up against Anakin's large suitcase. Ventress leaned in even closer. Obi-Wan was actually going to plan to sneeze in her face—a very rude move especially against a lady, but desperate times meant desperate measures—when he heard the tent flap whip open.

"Oh, Anakin, do something," he began to blurt out, when he stopped and realized it wasn't Anakin at all. It was Duchess Satine!

"Master Kenobi, oh thank goodness! I've been staying at Pine Tree Campground and I heard you were sick..." Satine, who was holding a steaming crockpot and an extra pillow, froze as soon as it occurred to her that Ventress was there.

Ventress turned around and her expression transformed drastically.

"Can't you see we're in the middle of something?" she snarled.

"D-D-Duchess Satine..." Obi-Wan stuttered.

"You have no business sneaking around this campground! Go back to your own kind, Ventress," Satine hissed. It was obvious she was trying all in her best not to throw the crockpot right at Ventress.

"Oh yeah, well...I was here first!"

"Oh yeah?" Satine hesitated to think up a quick retort. "Well, I actually brought him something, so you can just move aside from my Kenobi!"

"Hey, he's _mine_!" Ventress jumped up and tried shoving Satine back out of the tent, but Satine knew it was coming. She kicked Ventress in the shin and set the crockpot over to the side. Ventress jumped back and snatched up Anakin's hairbrush to slap Satine across the face with.

"Oh, no, you don't!" Satine yelled, and she picked up a pair of someone's dirty socks and threw them at Ventress.

"Augh, no fair!"

"Ladies, please, _stop fighting over me_!"

"It's all right, Kenobi, I'll protect you from that lame excuse of a witch," said Satine, flashing Obi-Wan a cute smile.

"I thought you were a pacifist!" cried Ventress as she grabbed a pillow. Satine, deciding two could play that game, held up her own pillow and ran towards Ventress, raising it above her head.

"_Anakin...!_" shouted Obi-Wan, as Satine stepped over him and began whacking Ventress with her pillow. Obi-Wan ducked and scrambled for his life out of the tent, but not before catching a whiff of the soup in the crockpot. At the last second, he grabbed it and ran out, not even bothering to close the flap behind him.

_Now I know why I became a Jedi... _he thought with a shudder. He had never, _ever_ seen Satine behave like that. It must be a female thing.

He ran outside into the pouring rain. In seconds he was cold and wet all over again. Rex, who had been sitting inside the ship in front of the open ramp, saw Obi-Wan and ran up to him to give him a raincoat.

"Sir, you're in no condition to be out here. You should go back inside your tent where it's safe and—"

Rex was interuppted when he glanced back and saw their tent collapse to the ground, with all their supplies still inside. Two figures, tangled up in the canvas, were whacking each other with pillows and anything they could find on the floor. Rex's eyes widened.

"You were saying, Rex?" muttered Obi-Wan. "C'mon, take me inside the ship."

As Rex and Obi-Wan walked past Ahsoka, who had been scrounging up some leftovers, she gave Obi-Wan a big shake of her head. As if to tell him she hadn't invited Satine in or set up the whole thing. Obi-Wan mouthed one word, and it made Ahsoka stop in her tracks.

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask..." she mumbled, water dripping from her montrals.

"That must mean Anakin is somewhere he shouldn't be, I presume?" he groaned.

"Pretty much," said Ahsoka. "He said he was going to try taking the bathhouse back because he's sick and tired of listening to Hondo's gang play 'Screw the Consumer'."

"How long has he been gone?"

"You really wanna know?"

"No, on second thought. Don't even tell me." He continued following Rex to the ship. Meanwhile, Satine crawled out from under the canvas and took off for the path, carrying something in her arms. Ventress howled and chased after her.

"Why, you—give me my lightsaber back!"

"Not until you say Kenobi is mine!" Satine cackled.

"No way! _You _can marry Grevious!"

"_What?_"

"Master, they wrecked your tent," Ahsoka groaned, rolling her eyes.

"And Duchess Satine brought supper," said Obi-Wan, and he held up the crockpot before he was seized by a barrage of violent sneezes.

* * *

As Obi-Wan, Rex, and Ahsoka were quietly eating Satine's soup inside the ship, they heard the sound of pirate blasters outside. Ahsoka jumped up and looked outside to see Hondo firing at a figure with a blue lightsaber.

"Can you tell what's going on?" asked Obi-Wan.

"I think it's Sky-guy!"

"All by himself? I suppose a little too much rain got through to his head," mumbled Obi-Wan, and afterward he chuckled at his little joke. "Talk to me, 'Soka."

"It's hard to see much through all the rain...but it looks like he's fighting Hondo. Some pirates are running back toward the ship—oh, and the front door to the bathhouse was chopped right off."

"Then it's Anakin, all right," said Obi-Wan.

"My tent!" Ahsoka suddenly screamed, as Ventress and Satine ran through the campsite a second time and knocked hers down. It could only mean they had chased each other in a whole loop across Ewok Paw Campground.

"You're not even a good guy! You can't have him!" Satine yelled over her shoulder.

"Oh yeah, we'll, if you're neutral, you have no business marrying a clone!"

"You _kill _clones, Ventress! Captain Rex is mine, all mine!"

Rex glanced away from the scene and held a fist up to his mouth to clear his throat.

"Now just a minute..." growled Obi-Wan as the two women danced in the rain, "I thought they were fighting over _me_. That's not fair in the least bit."

"I guess they finally realized they couldn't have you, so they moved on," Ahsoka said with a smile.

Obi-Wan and Rex stared at her before she added,

"Oh, c'mon, guys. It's a girl thing. Seriously, another apprentice and I were the exact same way earlier this year when we were fighting over B—"

She cut herself off and blushed, looking away in an instant. Rex just rolled his eyes.

"Well, in that case, I hope they 'move on' again pretty soon," he remarked.

"I hope so too. I say, Captain Rex, those two chicks will be the death of you." Obi-Wan sounded almost—a little bit—jealous, maybe? Rex ignored it.

Just then, Ahsoka bolted upright and grabbed her lightsaber, looking out the window again.

"Master Kenobi," she stammered, "Um—you think I should go there and help Anakin out? Watching how he, Hondo and Co. are going, he looks like he sure could use it."

"That would be called encouraging his behavior, which I'm highly against. If Anakin really was going to take the bathhouse back, he should have thought to ask for..."

Just then, Obi-Wan heard the sound of Grievous shouting and tearing through the gang of Weequay's. Hondo began yelling and desperately fired his blaster several times. Anakin tore down the second door to the bathhouse and stabbed the vending machine with his lightsaber, so they couldn't play anymore 'Screw the Consumer'. All around Ewok Paw Campground, the other campers began cheering them on, whooping and hollering.

Ahsoka could make out Anakin and Grievous racing neck and neck to the final summit of the hill towards the bathhouse. Grievous slammed his side into Anakin's, and Anakin tried tripping him. Both of them leaped and hacked into the group, sending the last of the pirates scattering in terror. Hondo was yelling something along the lines of it wasn't his idea to come here in the first place, and he was sick and tired of this stupid camping anyway.

"Whatever they're doing, I'm glad it's working," said Rex.

Several minutes later, after more cheering and shouting and hacking had followed, the pirate ship finally accelerated into the sky and was gone. Obi-Wan was suddenly beside himself.

_That wasn't supposed to happen! _He thought indignantly. _Anakin _won? _Now he'll never learn from his mistake! He'll think it was a good thing! I was supposed to recover from my cold and go in there and set everything straight—oh, blast it..._

"They drove those darn pirates away! Yay, Sky-guy!" Ahsoka squealed. "Now we have our bathhouse back!"

"No, _now_ we can get out of this rotten campsite," muttered Obi-Wan.

"_Master_! Acscati Park is a lovely place!" Ahsoka snapped.

Obi-Wan just mumbled something he shouldn't have as he heard Anakin and Grievous running back down the hill through the pouring rain. The other campers held out their towels and umbrellas for them as they ran along, still trying to shove and trip the other. It was obvious to Ahsoka that both of them had been planning to attack the bathhouse by themselves, but sheer coincidence brought them together at the exact same time. Nevertheless, to someone who would never notice how much they hated each other, the whole campground was delighted that one of their two afflictions was finally gone and things were halfway back to the way they should have been.

All was well until Grievous returned to Site 62 and found a very grumpy, soaking wet Dooku standing in front of the empty fire pit.

"Um, Master, where's your umbrella? And the ship?" Grievous cried.

Before replying, Dooku cleared his throat and wrung the water out of his beard.

"If you must know, they were taken from me as I was attempting to deal with the two Zabrak brothers. They are still on that island and they insisted on staying—apparently it's their new base to take over the entire galaxy or some other silly notion. In summary, because you bailed out on me to take care of the pirates, they were able to rob me of our ship _and _my lightsaber _and _my umbrella."

"Well, gee, I didn't know you were that weak..."

"_This is all your fault, _you nuts-and-bolts-for-brains_ lunatic_," Dooku rumbled, clenching and unclenching his fists, before he too began to sneeze.

Grievous watched his master's violent fit. He had never given thought to how the rain must effect the organics, or fully-organics to be exact. A glance out at the small island in the middle of Acscati Lake showed that their ship was currently being used as demolition for Savage Oppress and Darth Maul.

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan was enduring the story of how Anakin took the bathhouse _all _for himself. Ahsoka and Rex were eating cold leftovers and the last of the crockpot soup. Some really weird noises were coming from the middle of the lake.

But he didn't mind. As soon as the rain let up Obi-Wan was going to have a long, luxurious shower in the bathhouse.

It completely skipped Anakin's mind to inform them that during the battle, he and Grievous had unintentionally, in a fit of adrenaline, hacked the roof of the bathhouse to pieces, and it was currently being flooded with rain.


	8. Chapter 8

Several hours—just as Obi-Wan was ascending the hill to take a shower right before bedtime that nightfall—did he finally notice the damage.

"_Anakin!_"

"_Now _what?"

"What in the name of the Force did you do to the bathhouse?"

"Er—you mean _that_? That was, just, um...that was Grievous' fault!"

"Oh, I believe you..."

"What's the problem?" asked Ahsoka, chiming in on their little conversation. Then she peeked up from under her umbrella and saw the damage that had been done to the bathhouse. "Oh," she then said.

"Whatever," Anakin mutterd and he crossed his arms. "It's just a few dents, what's the big deal?"

The big deal, in Obi-Wan's eyes, was the fact that the bathhouse first of all had no entrance or exit as the doors had been sliced off by Anakin's lightsaber. That wouldn't have been so bad were the roof not hacked to pieces and inviting gallons of water to pour in on the inside lobby and restrooms. Now all three rooms were flooded and of no use anymore. As soon as he had noticed the damage, Obi-Wan tried calling the Acscati Park office, but the power was down because of all the heavy rain.

The three stood on the pathway leading to the bathhouse for a moment, underneath both Obi-Wan and Ahsoka's umbrellas. Behind them was their campsite, currently unoccupied. Since their victory against the pirates, they hadn't seen neither Dooku or Grievous and decided to keep it that way.

"Go away, you crazy women!" they heard someone shout. They all turned to see Rex leap over a fallen log with Ventress and Satine in hot pursuit. He had promised not to fire upon them, but now they were beginning to test that promise.

"I get his helmet!" Satine cried.

"You think so? Well, I get his double blasters!" retorted Ventress.

Rex ran up to the trio, puffing and panting. He would have been soaked to the skin were he not wearing his armor, which he was very relieved he decided to put on that morning.

"I swear, you'd think those ladies were from Celebration Six!" Rex gasped.

Ventress threw a pebble at Satine, only to glance up and notice Obi-Wan standing beside Rex.

"Oh, it's you, Kenobi," she said, as if reliving an old memory. She was dripping wet but didn't seem to mind. "I missed you. I thought you had given up on me."

"I _have_. And don't start that again!" cried Obi-Wan as he began to back away.

"You mean...you _still _have feelings for me, Master Jedi?" Satine gasped in relief.

"Get away from me!" Obi-Wan shouted.

Both Obi-Wan and Rex turned and ran down the pathway with the last of their energy. Anakin and Ahsoka looked at each other and began to snicker and laugh. Ventress and Satine shot them angry, fuming glances, to which the Jedi shrugged.

"He hates me," Ventress hissed. And she ran away.

Before Obi-Wan and Rex had made it far, however, they stopped to a sound from the woods nearby. Obi-Wan, holding his umbrella in one hand, drew his lightsaber with the other through the Force, as Rex tightened his grip on one of his blasters.

"Do you know what that was, sir?" he asked.

"I might, but I think I don't."

"What do you think it sounded like?" Rex peered into the thick woods that ran alongside the pathway they were on, although he knew he wouldn't be able to see much of anything because of how dark it was. The sound of the rain hitting the ceiling of trees and the floor of thick bushes was a rather pleasant melody, something Obi-Wan had not expected to hear much of during his stay at Acscati Park. But now as they had stopped to listen to the sudden noise, it hit him all at once, and—and he liked it. It was almost as lovely as the sound of chirping birds in the treetops.

But he probably looked quite ridiculous right now—soaking wet, holding up the umbrella in one hand and his lightsaber in the other, ketchup and dirt stains on his clothes.

As soon as they heard the sound again, they bristled and steadied their ground.

"Detecting something, sir?" asked Rex.

Obi-Wan nodded.

"A creature of some sort. I don't know what. But, hmm—that's strange."

"What's strange?"

"It's not headed for us. It's turned and heading in a completely different direction, to—um..."

"Where, sir?"

"Our campsites? Yes, look, there it is!"

Obi-Wan and Rex spun to their right just in time to see not one, but two, large black creatures running out from the woods and racing right for the close-by Site 63 and Site 62. From the woods came the same sound again and again. Obi-Wan, freezing cold in the rain, scarcely had the energy to attack the creatures; instead, he waved his lightsaber in the air.

"What the...I know what those are, Captain. Those are black bears," said Obi-Wan.

"Sir, they're going to—!"

From deeper yet inside the woods, Darth Maul and Savage Oppress chuckled to each other, sharing the same sort of laugh a younger pair of brothers would share when they destroyed a little sister's doll. Savage slapped his hand on Maul's back.

"Awesome job," said Savage.

"Fist pump, bro."

He held out his fist, which Savage punched twice as hard than he should have. "Y-yeah, good one," Maul said, nursing his bruised knuckles.

"This has gotta be your best idea since we took that island," Savage went on, peering through the woods. "Sending bears to take all their food will starve them if not drive them mad. They'll be forced to search the woods for something to eat, then we'll take them by surprise."

"Not so loud, bro. Someone might hear you."

"What, like a _rabbit_? Or a _squirrel_? There's no one here, Maul. No hiking trails for miles, just us and the trees."

"Oh, whatever you say. It's just that I could've sworn to the Force I heard..."

"Here," said Savage, digging into his pocket, "you're just hearing things again. It's time to take your medication again."

"Do I _have _to?"

"_Yes_."

From a distance away, Count Dooku turned and ran as silently as possibly out of the woods, searching for the nearest pathway. Currently he was trying to decide which information was more valuable to the Jedi—the fact that going into the woods was now a trap, or that Darth Maul was on medication.

_Hm. I suppose they'll have to decide that._

"Master? Sky-guy?" asked Ahsoka, "is the ship about ready to take off?"

"Almost, Snips. The rain wasn't too merciful on her, but I'll get her boosted up and ready to go in no time."

"Force, I'm bummed our vacation had to end a few days early."

"Look, it wasn't my idea, it was Obi-Wan's. Apparently as soon as he reports back to the Council, he's going to take another vacation just to forget this vacation."

"Hey, that's a great idea!" Ahsoka beamed ear-to-ear. "We could go tubing and kayaking on Kamino or—"

"Ah, he really, really wants to go _alone_."

Ahsoka's smile vanished, and she grimaced and kicked away a pebble as Anakin finished the last of their work on the ship. It was parked in front of the registration office; as soon as he was finished with it they would be able to take it back to Site 63 without the help of a tow-ship as before. Then, sadly, they would have to leave Acscati Park.

Anakin couldn't imagine why Obi-Wan was suddenly such a grump. So Dooku and Grievous had turned out to be camping right next to him; in the end, it had turned out all right, anyway. And the pirates were gone. So it was raining buckets; it cotuldn't forever.

Gosh, listen to him—he hadn't felt this cheerful in a long time. Camping was so much fun. They should do this more often...maybe every summer, even. In-between arcs? Good idea. Take half the Council one trip and the other half the next? Great idea!

"You know what, Ahsoka..." Anakin set down his tools and turned to her as she twisted half a stick, "I think I'm gonna talk to Obi-Wan about..."

Just then, Count Dooku walked up to them from behind. Ahsoka, by reflex, reached for her lightsabers.

"Before you kill me—or," he coughed, "_attempt _to kill me, I must add...I have some interesting news for the two of you."

"Again? Seems like you're always bringing us bad news from Ewok Paw," Anakin replied hotly.

"Grievous refuses to be the message-bearer while on vacation, and Kenobi's mood is far too contagious."

"Yeah, you got a point..." said Ahsoka, rubbing her chin.

"The interesting news," Dooku said with a growing grimace, "is that there was a recent attack on both of our campsites while in the pouring rain. Black bears, it seems."

"You gotta be kidding me...!" Anakin interuppted, facepalming himself.

"I'm not finished yet," growled Dooku. "All our food was stolen."

* * *

**Next chapter will be the last one, in which I wrap this little tale up for you guys. I hope you've been really enjoying this as we go. I know I've had lots of fun...reviews are welcome and greatly appreciated!**


	9. Chapter 9

**This means wrapping up my first chapter-length story on FFN. A big thanks for all the wonderful reviews!**

**I'm willing to always do more humor-fics in the future...for example, there is currently a poll on my profile on one of them. Send in your vote please!  
**

**Thanks for taking your time, and enjoy the wrap-up to this silly little story.  
**

* * *

Anakin, Ahsoka, and Count Dooku drove the ship back to Site 63, where Obi-Wan and Rex had just finished scaring the bears off at last. But not before their coolers had been emptied and the last of their food carried away.

When Anakin saw the damage done by the bears, he snapped his fingers.

"So much for breakfast tomorrow morning, huh?" he muttered.

"Obviously..." Dooku couldn't help but add. He was still debating as to whether he should tell the Jedi and the clone that the two Zabrak brothers were waiting for them in the woods.

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway," said Obi-Wan, and he pointed to the newly-repaired ship. "Let's just get out of here while we still can. I'm ready to leave."

"Yes, we know, Obi," Anakin interuppted, "but first I have to call the park rangers' office to let them know what happened. _Then _we'll leave."

Obi-Wan would have crossed his arms if he hadn't still been holding his lightsaber.

_I should be in bed by now, _he thought. But the bears had brought down their tent. There was no way anyone could sleep in it now. On the brighter side, however, Ventress and Satine had apparently given up on chasing each other in the rain, and Satine was back at her own campground while Ventress had lost herself in the vistor's center on the other end of the park. Hearing that report from Rex had been quite a relief to Obi-Wan...if they hadn't stopped, who knows which poor soul they'd be chasing after next? He could only imagine.

_All well._

Now that their departure from Acscati Park was not even a hour away, Obi-Wan found himself mentally chewing on his earlier idea of how this vacation was going to be, and how it turned out in the end. Perhaps it hadn't been so dreadful that Anakin and Ahsoka had come with—it still wouldn't have changed the fact that Dooku, Grievous, and Hondo Ohnaka decided to go camping, too. The pouring rain _should _have appeared on the HoloNet weather report, but random events happen. And now that bears, for no apparent reason, had raided both of their food supply, well—too bad for the bears that they were a little too late to spoil the whole trip when it was almost over.

"I'll be right back. You guys wait here," said Anakin, and he turned to enter the ship and head to the park rangers' office.

"Oh, how thoughtful of you, Anakin. I'll just stand here in the pouring rain at 11:00 at night after being attacked by black bears. I don't mind," grumbled Obi-Wan.

"For once in my life, I find myself envious of you Jedi," Dooku added as Ahsoka began to follow Anakin.

"And _why_?" asked Obi-Wan.

"My ship was stolen, and Grievous has gone wandering off again. I'm afraid I shall be forced to remain in this dreadful campground until my Separatists allies reply to my distress call and come to pick me up."

"And we'd be _more _than happy to give both of you a ride on the _Twilight_, but of course we would take a rather long detour to the Jedi Temple where..."

"That won't be necessary, Kenobi."

Rex spun around as he heard something again in the woods behind them. Then he head a shout. As soon as Obi-Wan and Dooku had heard it as well, Obi-Wan was dismayed to realize he recognized that voice.

"Perfect timing! It's Darth Maul and his little brother Savage," he mumbled as he lazily drew his lightsaber.

From deep inside the woods, Savage was racing after Maul in an attempt to stop him, but Maul's cyborg legs made him go twice as fast.

"Stop, bro! We're supposed to _wait _for them, not attack in the open!" Savage was yelling in-between huffs and pants for breath.

"I can't help myself! I gotta do it, I gotta do it!"

"Dude! Bro! Did you throw away your pills _again_?"

"_Yes!_" Maul howled, and he ran out of the woods out into the view of all the campsites. Right in front of him he saw Obi-Wan..._and _Count Dooku..._and _two other Jedi...and a random clone.

"Who...is...that?" Ahsoka asked. From where she and Anakin stood on the docking ramp, she pointed to the Zabrak with the cyborg legs pounding into the ground. Right behind him another Zabrak followed, yelling something about what did your mother tell you about throwing your pills away, to which the first Zabrak yelled, you idiot, get over here.

"You called me an _idiot_," Savage hissed. He slowed down to catch his breath as Maul jumped into the air and landed next to _Twilight._

"Hey! Get away, you crazy loon!" Anakin shouted as Maul stabbed the door to _Twilight_ with his lightsaber before anyone else could respond, shattering the controls and sealing it shut.

Obi-Wan only had enough time to block Savage's lightsaber attack. Rex fired several shots at Savage, but they were in vain. Meanwhile, Anakin and Ahsoka drew their lightsabers and ran towards Maul.

"See, Savage?" Maul yelled as he deflected their lightsabers and took another slash at their ship. "Now that I've destroyed their ship, they _have _to go into the woods, and then we'll take them by surprise and sneak attack...while we're—waiting in the woods..."

His voice trailed as he slinked back and jumped on top of the ship. Something was beginning to occur to him.

"You were saying?" Savage growled.

"Um...never mind."

"_See?_" Savage leaped to the side to get away from Obi-Wan, whose umbrella he had hacked to bits. He too jumped on top of the _Twilight_. "This is what happens when you don't take your medication, bro!"

"Kriff..." Maul muttered.

Obi-Wan, only able to see the brothers by way of their glowing lightsabers, tossed away his destroyed umbrella. He stood next to Rex as they looked up in dismay. Anakin and Ahsoka leaped after them, but they were too late. The brothers had already put great distance between them and had run back into the woods. Anakin was yelling and cursing at them in every language he knew how.

"Don't follow them, Anakin," yelled Obi-Wan before Anakin and Ahsoka could enter the woods on the brothers' tail. "It's too dark and much too wet."

"But, Obi-Wan, they _destroyed _our ship!"

Dooku coughed and crossed his arms, leaning against a tree to dry off a bit under the branches. Rex noticed something in Dooku's eyes and glared at him through his helmet.

"You knew those brothers were coming, didn't you?" Rex growled.

"I knew nothing of the sort," Dooku yawned, suddenly interested in the dirt underneath his fingernails. "Though now that you mention it, it _is _somewhat convenient to me now that you are stuck here as well as I and Grievous-wherever-he-is."

"But, Savage!" Maul cried as they ran deeper into the woods, "now they can't leave so they'll _have _to look for food in the woods, and that's when we attack."

"Bro...why would they go into the woods when they _already know we're here?_"

"Oh," said Maul. "I'm still working on that."

Savage sat down on a fallen log, crossed his arms, and tried to dry off.

"Let me know when you have another _great _idea," Savage muttered.

Elsewhere, Grievous had just returned from his own small hike to discover the Jedi still had not left and Dooku was becoming grumpier by the minute. It was nearing midnight and everyone had been forced to sit outside the broken-down ship, waiting for the registration office to reopen so they could call for a tow-ship all over again. Grievous immediately noticed the side of the ship that Darth Maul had wrecked, not to mention the destruction left by the bears.

"Well, aren't you all little bags of sunshine?" Grievous remarked as he crossed his arms at the sight. Obi-Wan, sneezing into a handkerchief, was deliberately ignoring Anakin, Ahsoka, and especially Dooku. Rex was on watch for more Zabraks, or bears, or pirates, or anything worse. Grievous glared down at his master. "If you'd let me bring _my _lightsaber collection, I could have taken those brothers down in a cinch."

"Yes, I'm sure you would have," mumbled Dooku, "if you weren't wandering off all the time."

"I don't believe this," Ahsoka snapped, tossing a pebble into a nearby rain puddle. "How much longer are we gonna be stuck here, Sky-guy? No food, no tents, plenty of Separatists and more than enough rain...!"

"See what I mean? You're always complaining!" Grievous snapped at her.

"Buddy, people like you are the reason people like me have every _right _to complain," said Ahsoka.

"_What_...?"

"Oh, no more fighting for now, Grievous." Dooku pushed Grievous away from the Jedi. "Perhaps when I'm in a better mood I shall allow you to kill them."

"We're still here, you know," Anakin warned.

Obi-Wan just tried to get some sleep.

He never did, for Dooku and Grievous had begun a long argument about whether they should attack another campsite to find some food, while the others tried to ignore them. Anakin began complaining again, and Ahsoka finally got too tired of it all and began working on fixing the door of the ship, which had locked them outside. By then, it was well-past midnight and the rain was still pouring.

Rex, who was beginning to feel guilty over the fact that he had armor to keep him dry and the others didn't, turned to Obi-Wan.

"Sorry your vacation didn't turn out to be very refreshing, sir," he said sadly.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and glanced into the woods, just to be sure the Zabrak brothers weren't coming back.

"Oh, it doesn't matter," he sighed, "I brought it all upon us in the first place, so don't go blaming yourself. It seems the only good thing I've gotten out of his trip is learning that none of us know how to go camping."

"Whose idea was it anyway?" Rex couldn't help but ask, glancing at Anakin and Ahsoka.

"Master Yoda's. So, in a way, it's actually _his_ fault." Obi-Wan sighed again and closed his eyes once more, trying to get his mind off of everything. "But if it's all the same to you, it would be much more beneficial to the war effort if I simply blamed Dooku, Grievous, Hondo, and Maul for all of this instead."

"I understand, sir," said Rex.

* * *

When morning finally came, the rain had died down to a small drizzle, but the power was still down. As a result, none of them could send out a distress signal for someone to fetch them.

"So we're basically stuckhere until somebody realizes we're stuck?" Ahsoka snapped when she heard the news.

"Worse, we don't even have anything to eat for _breakfast_," Anakin groaned.

"You care more about breakfast than you do getting off this planet alive?" cried Obi-Wan.

"Geez, Obi, a guy's gotta eat...!" Anakin sounded incredulous and indignant as he kicked a stone away and tried one last time unsuccessfully to fix the door to the ship.

"My question is how we're going to call a tow-ship to get our stupid craft fixed _again_," said Obi-Wan, gesturing to the ship behind him. "As soon as Anakin gets the door open, we can start packing up and getting out of here."

"Packing? I was going to go find us some breakfast!"

"You are going to get that door open and forget about breakfast," snapped Obi-Wan.

Grievous crossed his arms and looked away, stating that he refused to go fishing again as that had been a disaster. Dooku was quick to add that Grievous didn't have to worry about being asked to go fishing ever again, much less be a camping partner. After that, the two started up quite the heated argument over whose idea it was to take a hitaus from the war by coming to Acscati Park. Dooku was close to drawing his lightsaber on the cyborg general, when everyone paused to listen again for a loud sound from above. At first, Obi-Wan was afraid it was thunder and more rain was starting up. But then he looked up and saw what it really was.

"Who _is_ that?" he asked. All six of them peered up at the small cargo ship overhead. It was landing slowly next to Site 64.

"It's more droids...!" said Dooku.

"My lightsabers!" said Grievous.

"Breakfast!" said Anakin.

"Anakin, would you stop it with the breakfast?"

The ship, about twenty feet in the air, hovered over Site 64. The ramp opened and a familiar figure appeared, looking down at the ragged, hungry, and filthy group.

"Oh, hello, guys," said Lux as he waved. "My friends and I decided to stay an extra week, so we thought we'd try out your campsite. Glad to see the rain finally let up, don't you think?" Lux stopped suddenly. His eyes widened and he jumped backwards in fear.

"I'm getting on first!" Grievous shouted. He leaped up and landed on the ramp, charging for the cockpit. Then he gave Lux a shove. "Get out of my way, spoiled child!"

"You—you _pushed_ me!"

"Fine, but _I _get to drive," added Dooku.

The three Jedi yelled at them and jumped up as well. Rex followed them using his jetpack.

"_We're _taking this ship, you lame excuses for Separatists! Oh, sorry we have to steal your ship, Lux," said Ahsoka.

Lux backed away, not knowing what on earth to do.

Both Obi-Wan and Anakin made a dive for the door to the cockpit, but Grievous jumped in their way and the three crashed to the floor.

"That's not fair!" Anakin yelled, glancing up just in time to see Grievous enter the cockpit with a snicker and a cough.

"You don't happen to have anymore marshmallows on you, do you, Anakin?"

Anakin rolled his eyes at Obi-Wan's comment and got back up.

"You guys, you're _stealing my ship...!_" screamed Lux as he crouched down on the floor. Obi-Wan completely ignored him and ran into the cockpit as well, as Anakin, Rex, and Ahsoka engaged Dooku on the ramp.

"I drive! We're going back to Coruscant!" cried Obi-Wan, and he snatched the steering wheel from Grievous, who grabbed it back.

"No, _I _drive!"

"Let _me_!"

"Jedi scum! I was here first!"

"All right, I'm not going to turn you in to the Republic, just let me take us to Coruscant!"

"I don't believe a word you say!"

"Pinkie swear!" Obi-Wan cried in desperation, and held out his pinkie finger. "I pinkie swear I'll drop you off wherever you want, but _I'm _driving!"

_I can't believe I'm doing this—letting Dooku and Grievous go so we can get back to Coruscant? The Council will never forgive this one. We'll be stuck training younglings for the rest of our lives!_

Grievous glared at him for what felt like an eternity. Behind them, Dooku was still battling the three with Lux helplessly looking on.

"Fine," said Grievous, and backed away from the steering wheel. "But remember, youpinkie-sweared!"

"Pinkie _swore_."

_ Well, at least Mr. Bonteri showed up just now. Who knows how long we would have been stuck there otherwise? Poor fellow._

Only when he had sent Lux's ship into hyperspace did Obi-Wan realize that, besides their weapons, they had left all of their supplies still in Site 63—the tents, the coolers, the luggage, _Twilight_—everything! He would have to call the registration office about that one. In fact, he owed them many an explanation as soon as the power in Ewok Paw Campground was back up—the destroyed bathhouse, the ship they left behind, _and _whatever further damage Maul and Savage had done.

What kind of conversation was he going to have with the Council?

_Oh, what a mess this is going to be._

* * *

EPILOGUE

.

"A break off the battle-lines by camping, a good idea, it was not," Master Yoda said sternly. "Meditating or writing a book, a better idea it is."

"Yes, Master Yoda," said Obi-Wan, staring at his feet in the small meditation room. Luckily for him, Yoda had spared the embarassment of having Obi-Wan report to the Council and instead talked with him about the matter face-to-face. After all, Obi-Wan could not help but recall, the trip _had _been Yoda's idea in the first place.

"Tired, you seem."

"Oh, brother." A refreshing shower and even one hour away from Anakin and Ahsoka was already beginning to do him well. Nevertheless, it did not change the fact that he had let Grievous and Dooku escape. Plus, would Mr. Bonteri start pressing charages that they had hijacked and stolen his ship?

Yoda watched Obi-Wan patiently for a bit, then cleared his throat and said,

"An idea, I have."

"Yes?" Obi-Wan perked up.

"Finish your ten days at Acscati, you did not. More time for a break, there still is."

"_Yes_...?"

"A sightseeing tour, of Coruscant, I shall arrange. Disguise yourself, you will. Read books, you will."

"I suppose..." Obi-Wan was not one for sightseeing; he'd done it once before and fell asleep even before it was halfway over because he was so bored.

But, maybe that would be yet another chance to catch up on some sleep. Suddenly it seemed like a great idea!

"Bring anyone with you, you wish?"

Before Yoda had barely the chance to finish his question, Obi-Wan jumped up and blurted out,

"_No_! Absolutely not. I don't want to be with _anybody_!"

Yoda peered up at him thoughtfully, his hand under his chin.

"Too much coffee, you had," he mused aloud.

"Yes, I know. I get migraines if I don't get my morning caffeine. I'm sorry, Master." Obi-Wan sat back down, and to his surprise, Yoda began chuckling.

"Obi-Wan, enjoy your trip just a little, did you?"

Obi-Wan looked up and stroked the part of his beard he had shaved to remove the dried marshmallow.

"Do I _look _like I enjoyed it...?" he asked.

And that is why Obi-Wan Kenobi never goes camping.


End file.
